Melvin Helitzer Quotes

• If the audience knows what's behind the door and the actor does not, that's comedy. If both the audience and the actor do not know, that's mystery!

  Melvin Helitzer

  Doors, Doe, Actors

  5 Copy quote

• Enjoy how sweet, how thoughtful, how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.

  Melvin Helitzer

  Sweet, Thoughtful, Tomorrow

  6 Copy quote

• I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm, talent, and wit. Unfortunately, he couldn't be here tonight, so instead . . .

  Melvin Helitzer

  Men, Tonight, Talent

  Melvin Helitzer (1992). “Comedy Writing Secrets”, Writers Digest Books

  7 Copy quote

• A famous actor, Edmund Kean, on his deathbed, was reported to have said, "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."

  Melvin Helitzer

  Dying, Actors, Comedy

  Melvin Helitzer (1992). “Comedy Writing Secrets”, Writers Digest Books

  8 Copy quote

• I have a serious investment problem. I have no money.

  Melvin Helitzer

  Serious, Problem, Investment

  Melvin Helitzer (1992). “Comedy Writing Secrets”, Writers Digest Books

  5 Copy quote

• I sort of feel like Cindy Crawford's new husband on their wedding night. I know what's expected of me. I'm just not sure I've got the ability to make it interesting.

  Melvin Helitzer

  Husband, Night, Interesting

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• One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today, but you will be a great deal older.

  Melvin Helitzer

  Guarantees, May, Today

  Melvin Helitzer (1992). “The Dream Job: Sports Publicity, Promotion, and Public Relations”, Univ Sports Press

  5 Copy quote

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