Divorce is the hardest obstacle I've had to overcome in my life. I would like to believe that most people don't get married anticipating divorce. When I reached that crossroad, I felt like such a failure. After years of therapy together, I realized that staying together was emotionally destructive. My husband didn't want the divorce, but I did. So there was a lot of bitterness initially. Although we are still divorced, we still call each other "family." It was a journey to get there, but it's a beautiful place to be.
I would like to believe that most people don't get married anticipating divorce. When I reached that crossroad, I felt like such a failure. After years of therapy together, I realized that staying together was emotionally destructive.
But, once again, when I said I'm so grateful for my mom just being adamant about me staying in public school - that is what allowed me to be exposed to so many different types of people. I went to a high school that was by the beach. I elected to do bussing my junior high school years. And my first year of high school, I would take the bus from my neighborhood to the beach schools. And at those schools, you had such a mix of so many types of kids.
And, for example, like, when you're having the conversation with your child about getting their driver's license. Well, a white family - their biggest fear is just that you're driving safely and that they're minding the rules of the road, whereas a black family - their biggest fear is that their child is going to get pulled over and treated unfairly for a reason that they won't understand.
And once I was in college, about - maybe the end of my first semester of my sophomore year, I realized that college just was not my jam and that I felt like I was learning more when is actually on set. And I think a lot of that had to do with - I was working while I was in college. I was on "227," so I didn't get a chance to really be immersed in the culture of my school.
I went to public - I graduated from publics - Westchester High. I'm a product of LA Unified.
I had been going on auditions and things like that since I was probably 10 - 11 years old.
I think I've been lucky in the regard to have a team that sees me as an artist.
"Southland" was not written for a black woman.
"Legally Blonde 2" wasn't written specifically for a black woman.
The good news for me is that I have an amazing team behind me, and they've been with me for 20 years now - almost 20 years. And they have seen me as an actress, not necessarily just a black actress. So I have been lucky enough for them to see me that way.
When you look at "American Crime" and you have the character Terri LaCroix is a pharmaceutical executive - why does that character always have to be white?
It's an honest place to be if you don't understand someone else's experience, but there's no way for the other to understand if a conversation or an explanation isn't made.
And there's also not enough films that are more of a imitation of what real life looks like.
And just because someone doesn't understand doesn't mean they don't want to.
Race is a very sensitive subject.
And what happens a lot of times when - let's just speak specifically white and black - when white or black people feel misunderstood when it comes to talking about race, they immediately get defensive.
I don't think something is a failure if you put your all into it. I'm a big fan of the saying, "Nothing beats a failure but a try."
I try to turn most things into an exercise. Sometimes, I can't get a workout in, so I will do things like park further away at the grocery store or take the stairs. It may not be much, but I've convinced myself it does something. Mind over matter. Ha! But my regular workouts consist of hiking, Cardio Barre, and light weight training.
I try to eat well, but I don't deny myself the foods I love. I just eat them in moderation.
My husband didn't want the divorce, but I did. So there was a lot of bitterness initially. Once we got to the space where we understood that we have the most important thing in the world in common; no one else shared that commonality. Our son is priceless, and in order to give him the best, we have to be better to each other. Although we are still divorced, we still call each other "family." It was a journey to get there, but it's a beautiful place to be.
I would like to believe that most people don't get married anticipating divorce.
I've always been selective about materials I choose anyways. The incoming calls haven't been projects that I necessarily want to do. Now I can always be called "Emmy winner Regina King."
We play different people - our art form is performance art - so unless you're playing the same type of person, I don't know if you could improve or make it worse.
I can work inside the boundaries of Erika Murphy, or whoever the character is. It's fun to create somebody that's not you, that doesn't exist.
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