Judith Martin Quotes - Page 2

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• When people start hurling insults at you, you know their minds are closed and there's no point in debating. You disengage yourself as quickly as possible from the situation.

  Judith Martin

  People, Mind, Insult

  9 Copy quote

• It is wrong to wear diamonds before luncheon, except on one’s marriage rings. Before, after, and during breakfast, luncheon and dinner, it is vulgar to wear a mixture of colored precious stones. It is always a comfort to know that so many things one can’t afford to do anyway are vulgar.

  Judith Martin

  Precious Stones, Mixtures, Dinner

  24 Copy quote

• There is no etiquette rule that decrees one must give out personal information to anyone who asks.

  Judith Martin

  Women, Giving, Information

  4 Copy quote

• Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms.

  Judith Martin

  Law, People, Missing

  Judith Martin (1996). “Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility”, Crown

  5 Copy quote

• Ideological differences are no excuse for rudeness.

  Judith Martin

  Differences, No Excuses, Rudeness

  Judith Martin (1982). “Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”, Scribner

  22 Copy quote

• Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without a comment is a wonderful social grace ... Children who have the habit of constantly correcting should be stopped before they grow up to drive spouses and everyone else crazy by interrupting stories to say, 'No, dear -- it was Tuesday, not Wednesday.

  Judith Martin

  Children, Growing Up, Crazy

  21 Copy quote

• Manners require showing consideration of all human beings, not just the ones to whom one is close.

  Judith Martin

  Consideration, Manners, Humans

  8 Copy quote

• We already know that anonymous letters are despicable. In etiquette, as well as in law, hiring a hit man to do the job does not relieve you of responsibility.

  Judith Martin

  Jobs, Responsibility, Men

  9 Copy quote

• The way one was brought up isn't an excuse for rude behavior.

  Judith Martin

  Women, Rude, Way

  5 Copy quote

• everyone old enough to have a secret is entitled to have some place to keep it.

  Judith Martin

  Secret, Enough, Entitled

  Judith Martin (2002). “Miss Manners' Guide to Rearing Perfect Children”, p.161, Simon and Schuster

  5 Copy quote

• When you're in love, you put up with things that, when you're out of love you cite.

  Judith Martin

  Positive, Love You, Citing

  6 Copy quote

• When you consider how epidemic boredom is in our time, you have to concede that entertaining is a healing art.

  Judith Martin

  Art, Healing, Epidemics

  Judith Martin (1986). “Style and substance: a comedy of manners”, Scribner

  4 Copy quote

• If you put together all the ingredients that naturally attract children - sex, violence, revenge, spectacle and vigorous noise - what you have is grand opera.

  Judith Martin

  Sex, Children, Revenge

  "Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior". Book by Judith Martin, 1982.

  9 Copy quote

• Smart people duck when they hear the dread announcement 'I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.

  Judith Martin

  Honesty, Smart, Ducks

  Judith Martin (1996). “Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility”, Crown

  4 Copy quote

• I make a distinction between manners and etiquette - manners as the principles, which are eternal and universal, etiquette as the particular rules which are arbitrary and different in different times, different situations, different cultures.

  Judith Martin

  Principles, Different, Culture

  6 Copy quote

• People think, mistakenly, that etiquette means you have to suppress your differences. On the contray, etiquette is what enables you to deal with them; it gives you a set of rules.

  Judith Martin

  Mean, Thinking, Differences

  "Polite Company". Interview with Hara Estroff Marano, www.psychologytoday.com. March 1, 1998.

  4 Copy quote

• Screening telephone calls with a receptionist or the humbler answering machine is not a dishonorable thing to do. The warmest people in the world still need uninterrupted time to attend to their lives and should not be outwitted if they have made it obvious that they are not always available upon summons.

  Judith Martin

  People, Needs, Machines

  7 Copy quote

• The idea that people can behave naturally, without resorting to an artificial code tacitly agreed upon by their society, is as silly as the idea that they can communicate by a spoken language without commonly accepted semantic and grammatical rules.

  Judith Martin

  Silly, Ideas, People

  Judith Martin (1996). “Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson”

  5 Copy quote

• When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable.

  Judith Martin

  Criticism, Firsts, Flaws

  19 Copy quote

• 'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty.

  Judith Martin

  Honesty, Talking, Names

  98 Copy quote

• It is not rude to turn off your telephone by switching it on to an answering machine, which is cheaper and less disruptive than ripping it out of the wall. Those who are offended because they cannot always get through when they seek, at their own convenience, to barge in on people are suffering from a rude expectation.

  Judith Martin

  Wall, People, Expectations

  Judith Martin (1990). “Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium”, p.282, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• It is one of Miss Manners's great discoveries that one needn't contradict others in order to set them straight.

  Judith Martin

  Women, Discovery, Order

  11 Copy quote

• A lot of men got upset at the feminist movement because they had all the toys and we wanted some.

  Judith Martin

  Men, Feminist, Upset

  4 Copy quote

• The etiquette of intimacy is very different from the etiquette of formality, but manners are not just something to show off to the outside world. If you offend the head waiter, you can always go to another restaurant. If you offend the person you live with, it's very cumbersome to switch to a different family.

  Judith Martin

  Family, Different, World

  11 Copy quote

• One should not be assigned one's identity in society by the job slot one happens to fill. If we truly believe in the dignity of labor, any task can be performed with equal pride because none can demean the basic dignity of a human being.

  Judith Martin

  Jobs, Work, Believe

  Judith Martin (1996). “Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson”

  9 Copy quote

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