We all have a few failures under our belt. It's what makes us ready for the successes.
Success only hurts the first time.
Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren’t distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.
Slow and steady wins the race, then wastes no time grinding salt-caked glass in your open wounds.
Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later.
That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win.
The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore.
Desperate is not a sexual preference.
Things aren't magically better if that's what you're hoping for. It's not that simple.
In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it.
In the end, you'll know which people really love you. They're the ones who see you for who you are and, no matter what, always find a way to be at your side.
Friendship is being there when someone's feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.
Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner.
Never confuse the faith with the supposedly faithful.
The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them.
The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.
You can't show love to someone at the expense of someone else who loves you.
Could you imagine how horrible things would be if we always told others how we felt? Life would be intolerably bearable.
You make me understand how wonderful it is for little lizards when they find that one special rock that's perfect for sunning themselves on. You make me lizard-happy.
People age even when you're not looking.
The only time anyone's admitted they were a Christian before was when they were busy telling me why they're better than me.
Ah, sweet alcohol. Like a true friend, you replace the anger with better, louder anger.
Death likes it when you play hard to get.
Being prepared for loss is never the same as being ready for it.
I barely trust established sources of information. I have a hard time finding [Wikipedia], an encyclopedia that anyone can alter, to be a safe way to learn about anything except how many idiots think their opinions are a suitable substitute for facts.
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