John Hodgman Quotes

Quotes about:

• Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

  John Hodgman

  Thinking, Earth, Busy

  John Hodgman (2012). “The Areas of My Expertise”, p.13, Penguin

  47 Copy quote

• There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.

  John Hodgman

  Creativity, Starting, Ritual

  14 Copy quote

• A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

  John Hodgman

  Clock, Used, Sundials

  John Hodgman (2012). “More Information Than You Require”, p.268, Penguin

  23 Copy quote

• When you're sitting down and you're blocked and you just start writing and something in your mind just clicks, you start seeing connections and so on, you really do feel like you're channeling something else.

  John Hodgman

  Writing, Mind, Sitting Down

  Interview with Greg Hunter, therumpus.net. October 21, 2013.

  5 Copy quote

• All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.

  John Hodgman

  Sports, Should, Please

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  15 Copy quote

• I actually own a copy of my own book; that's how dedicated I am as an author.

  John Hodgman

  Book, Dedicated, Copies

  "John Hodgman, part one: the global superpocalypse". Interview with Scott Tobias, www.avclub.com. November 8, 2011.

  14 Copy quote

• Here's the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic person. I will only live so long as I have stockpiled the proper inhalers. I'm effectively a cyborg. You know how in Jurassic Park, they bred those dinosaurs with the lysine deficiencies, so if they ever got off the island, they'd die? That's me.

  John Hodgman

  Islands, Civilization, Long

  "John Hodgman, part one: the global superpocalypse". Interview with Scott Tobias, tv.avclub.com. November 8, 2011.

  14 Copy quote

• I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.

  John Hodgman

  Better Place, Suspects, Cease

  Interview with Scott Tobias, www.avclub.com. October 21, 2008.

  6 Copy quote

• Reality, while generally probable, is not always interesting.

  John Hodgman

  Reality, Interesting

  4 Copy quote

• Specificity is the soul of narrative.

  John Hodgman

  Soul, Narrative, Specificity

  John Hodgman (2017). “Vacationland: True Stories from Painful Beaches”, p.58, Penguin

  17 Copy quote

• I don't know if you've ever been shoved into the bow of a nutshell pram, a boat that is very easily almost liftable with one hand, and quite tippy, and is being piloted by a 12-year-old, but it is the true feeling of having your life in someone else's hands, and it's very precarious.

  John Hodgman

  Feelings, Boat, True Feelings

  Source: www.avclub.com

  8 Copy quote

• What I collect? Interesting jobs. Always to my thrill and excitement, but ultimately to my exhaustion, I collect interesting jobs. If an interesting job comes along, I take it; that's why I do so many things. I'm lucky to be able to.

  John Hodgman

  Jobs, Interesting, Lucky

  "Bewildered Maine resident John Hodgman takes another crack at our 11 Questions". Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. September 3, 2015.

  4 Copy quote

• You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.

  John Hodgman

  Sincere, Pretentious, Ifs

  5 Copy quote

• If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. They are doing this in order to please one angry old man on the sidelines. This old man is called the 'coach' or 'yelling surrogate' dad who will never be happy.

  John Hodgman

  Football, Dad, Men

  John Hodgman (2012). “That is All”, p.58, Penguin

  4 Copy quote

• For many years, people would say, "Only child? Must have been terrible," and I wanted to say, "You are mentally ill, because it was the greatest." You got all the attention. You never had to share anything. No one ever ate your food. No one ever took your toys. But the unintended consequence was that I didn't appreciate that being universally loved was not only not required for happiness, but also not possible.

  John Hodgman

  Children, People, Appreciate

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

• I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there's nothing I really collect.

  John Hodgman

  Moxie, Bottles, Soda

  "Bewildered Maine resident John Hodgman takes another crack at our 11 Questions". The A.V. Club Interview, www.avclub.com. September 3, 2015.

  6 Copy quote

• My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He's an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make a joke.

  John Hodgman

  Writing, Superhero, Borges

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  6 Copy quote

• A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference.

  John Hodgman

  Book, Reading, Antiques

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  6 Copy quote

• My favorite season is autumn, and Maine is lovely for that reason. In Maine, autumn begins on July 29. That's when you start building a fire in the fireplace and the leaves literally start falling from the trees. It is a cold and rugged and a beautiful place that reminds you with its many death traps - its painfully cold oceans, its sharp, jagged beaches, and perilous cliffsides - that nature doesn't care whether you live or die.

  John Hodgman

  Beautiful, Beach, Fall

  Source: www.avclub.com

  9 Copy quote

• I don't really collect anything. I mean, if I see a piece of Moxie soda memorabilia, I'll probably buy it. I'm a sucker for regional soda brands and forgotten histories and that sort of thing.

  John Hodgman

  Mean, Moxie, Pieces

  "Bewildered Maine resident John Hodgman takes another crack at our 11 Questions". Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. September 3, 2015.

  8 Copy quote

• I still have a fondness for books. Many a time I will be antiquing, and I'll say, 'What's that old-timey curio over there? What is that, a candlestick telephone, one of those old pull-chain toilets? Oh no, it's a book. I used to help make those things! I will buy it and use it to decorate my chain of casual family-dining restaurants.

  John Hodgman

  Book, Dining, Use

  4 Copy quote

• Houdini, the magician who debunked magic, could not bear to see the great rationalist [Arthur Conan] Doyle enchanted by ghosts and frauds. And so he did what any friend would: He set out to prove spiritualism false and rob his friend Doyle of the only comforting fiction that was keeping him sane. It was the least he could do.

  John Hodgman

  Comforting, Magic, Fiction

  5 Copy quote

• Stories hold power because they convey the illusion that life has purpose and direction. Where God is absent from the lives of all but the most blessed, the writer, of all people, replaces that ordering principle. Stories make sense when so much around us is senseless, and perhaps what makes them most comforting is that, while life goes on and pain goes on, stories do us the favor of ending.

  John Hodgman

  Pain, Blessed, People

  4 Copy quote

• I have an unfortunate compulsion. I really would rather not do it, as it is very nerve-wracking and un-fun. But when it works, there is nothing like it.

  John Hodgman

  Fun, Nerves, Compulsion

  4 Copy quote

• A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman); while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.

  John Hodgman

  Book, Writing, Agents

  "The Exchange: John Hodgman". Interview with Thessaly La Force, www.newyorker.com. November 11, 2008.

  11 Copy quote

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