Writers don't need love; all they require is money.
Go on - but don't think you can kill my confidence. I've had experts doing it for years.
I must be the luckiest man in the world. Not only am I bisexual, I am also Welsh.
It is not true that drink changes a man's character. It may reveal it more clearly.
We all of us waited for him to die. The family sent him a check every month, and hoped he'd get on with it quietly, without too much vulgar fuss.
You see I learnt at an early age what it was to be angry - angry and helpless. And I can never forget it. I knew more about - love... betrayal... and death, when I was ten years old than you will probably ever know in your life.
Don't be afraid of being emotional. You won't die of it.
In London, love and scandal are considered the best sweeteners of tea.
They spend their time looking forward to the past.
Don't clap too hard - it's a very old building.
Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.
I never deliberately set out to shock, but when people don't walk out of my plays I think there is something wrong.
There's no such thing as failure - just waiting for success.
Let's pretend that we're human beings and that we're actually alive.
It is easy to answer the ultimate questions - it saves you bothering with the immediate ones.
And even in the hatred of the majority, there's a kind of triumph because I know that, although they'd never admit it, they secretly respect me.
Censorship is the commonest social blasphemy because it is mostly concealed, built into us by indolence, self-interest and cowardice.
The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a childminder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.
Oh heavens, how I long for a little ordinary human enthusiasm. Just enthusiasm - that's all. I want to hear a warm, thrilling voice cry out Hallelujah! Hallelujah! I'm alive!
Here we are, we're alone in the universe, there's no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of rock. And here we are. We've only got ourselves. Somehow, we've just got to make a go of it. We've only ourselves.
Marriage is rather a silly habit.
There will be a quick rash of hairy American filth, but it shouldn't threaten the existence of decent, serious British filth.
The British public has always had an unerring taste for ungifted amateurs.
Laughter's the nearest we ever get, or should get, to sainthood. It's the state of grace that saves most of us from contempt.
The whole point of a sacrifice is that you give up something you never really wanted in the first place. People are doing it around you all the time. They give up their careers, say -- or their beliefs -- or sex.
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