I love acting with very little dialogue. As long as it's supported. I mean, in terms of cinema, you can have a great monologue, but if you're not supported by the images ... You can be feeling things and then you see it back, and you're like, "None of that came across." Or the angle of my face gives it a completely different interpretation than what I was trying to communicate.
I've just always been interested in how people lead their lives. How they survive in this world. I'm curious about people's damage, and navigating that and the way people forgive. I find it really interesting. That's why we have to transform on a daily basis, work on ourselves. It's work.
I didn't do so well in the academic world, so I think the only way I could express myself was through visual art - anything I could get my hands on, whether it was glassblowing, sculpture, painting, or photography. I always wanted to be a painter. Or a farmer.
I just feel like I'm in the world right now. There have been times when I haven't felt in the world, when I haven't cared whether I was going to be here or not, so my relationship with being on the earth was probably not as intense. And right now, there's an intensity - I want to be here.
As an actor you're only as good as the things you're offered. And there just weren't any female directors offering me things. So when you dissect that, you realize there aren't women offering you things because they don't have the opportunities. I work to raise money for women's cancers; I use my voice for violence against women.
My mother said I was always an intense child, a very sensitive child. So that probably helped the emotions to be very present. I was just a big thinker. I would evaluate and analyze and feel and cry and discuss and be angry. All of those emotions were very surface for me.
I suppose the underlying current for me is the idea of not doing something I've done before. I call myself a character actor and I'm always trying to stay a character actor.
If you're intuitive and you have a desire for people to be happy and you want equilibrium and you want life to be good, then you'll worry. But we need to embrace the idea that, "No, I'm putting that aside, over there, in a box. I'll open that box when I wake up in the morning and deal with it then." I really find that men tend to do that, and it's great to be able to do.
Probably the biggest compliment someone can give you is, "Gosh, you look great. You don't look tired."
I still feel vibrant and alive that way. I'm in a marriage where we put an enormous amount into our marriage. I always say, there's me, there's my husband, and then there's the "us," the us that we create. That's what we really take care of. We never, ever take it for granted. We do everything we can to be together, not to be separated for periods of time. We're just a very, very tight family unit, and we're really kind to each other. I think it's so underrated; people don't appreciate the necessity of that in society now.
As a woman now, I want to share things. I have girlfriends in their twenties, and I say, "Ask me anything. You can learn from the things I did wrong, and you can learn from the things you think I'm doing right. Take whatever you want and make it your own."
Have no regrets. Every relationship leads you to where you're meant to be. Learn to be comfortable with being alone. Learn to be comfortable with saying no to people; we put everybody else before ourselves. Read great literature; don't get all your information from TV. Define your moral code - nobody else is going to give you that. Find it yourself. Keep asking questions, keep challenging. You don't have to conform. Rebellion creates character. And, as my mother always said to me, "Don't let anyone break your spirit!"
Part of our job as human beings is to share our knowledge and share the things we've learned. So we can either save people from making the same mistakes, or give them hope.
I'm not saying it's for everyone, but it's better to be alone than in a lousy relationship.
The accumulation of experience gives you a debt in terms of compassion. I am very fortunate, and I feel dedicated to giving back to other women. Wherever I am now, I make sure I visit a women's shelter. But I don't want to do it in a frivolous way.
If you take care of the woman in the family, the whole family prospers. But when the mother falters, the family falls apart.
At this time in my life, I want to be giving to my relationships. And out of that, whatever work you do prospers because you have more to give. There's something very primal about giving birth. It puts you in a state of being very raw.
It's very easy for a couple to experience joy together. But when you experience pain together, it can lead to such depth and such union. That is when you fuse.
The journey of life - we all go through it: You have love, you lose love, you find new love. To have love again is a beautiful thing.
In particular, for my character, Celeste [in Big Little Lies], there was a way in which we wanted to present her, because she has sort of barriers that she has to put up for protection because of things that are going on in her life. Yet she wants to be, I suppose, very presentable but neutral.
I do have to say my daughter, Sunday, said to me [I was being] overprotective, so you must have been a fly on the wall.
When you know psychologically what [characters] are feeling, then that plays out on how you dress a lot of times.
We worked with Jean-Marc [Vallée] [on Big Little Lies] in terms of finding [style]. Because when you have five women, you're trying to find how they each dress and how they present themselves to the world.
Sometimes as an actor you're struggling to make things work. That was never the case for me with [Big Little Lies script]. It just kind of flowed out.
For me, my storyline [in Big Little Lies] is very complicated and nuanced. [The script] was so beautifully written. It was very, very easy to play. ... I think one of the scenes is almost eight minutes.
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