I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.
That's the problem with having a moral code. We want to destroy the jerkish part of the jerks, but we want to save the human being underneath.
The word I think of is precarious. I am struck by how precarious it all is. How the things that hold us are only as strong as the faith we have in them.
You don't realize - the great thing about change is how quickly we get used to it. So I'm not complaining. the more things change,the more they don't stay the same. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. They might not change everywhere all at once - but there are moments when the impossible becomes the inevitable, and the rest is just a matter of time.
Because that's the thing about mean people: They make you think that the world will never work, that there are divides that you will fall into if you approach. It takes a whole lot of good people to fill in the breach created by a single mean one.
This, I think, is how people survive: Even when horrible things have been done to us, we can still find gratitude in one another.
It was like everyone suddenly knew what mattered. Money didn't matter. Politics didn't matter. Tabloid news didn't matter. No-compassion mattered. Calm mattered. Respect mattered. Did it really take something of this magnitude to make us realize this?
I am so used to hints and mixed messages, saying things that might mean what they sort of sound like they mean. Games and contests, roles and rituals, talking in twelve languages at once so the true words won't be so obvious. I am not used to a plainspoken, honest truth.
lying awake beside you, these thoughts run through my head.
I'm always standing on the edge of something bad.
when things break, it's not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. it's because a little piece gets lost -- the two remaining ends couldn't fit together even if they wanted to. the whole shape has changed.
There's no way for them to take away my sadness, but they can make sure I am not empty of all the other feelings.
I don’t want you to think I got through this undamaged, okay? But I’m learning to live with it. Because otherwise, the damage is all you are.
I am a firm believer in serendipity- all the random pieces coming together in one wonderful moment, when suddenly you see what their purpose was all along.
I wake up thinking of yesterday. The joy is in remembering; the pain is in knowing it was yesterday.
motif, n. You don’t love me as much as I love you. You don’t love me as much as I love you. You don’t love me as much as I love you.
Music is everywhere. It’s in the air between us, waiting to be sung.
And maybe it is only by finding yourself that you can feel the true intensity of becoming close to another person.
It was a mistake," you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.
School is school-she wants it to be over, but she's afraid of it being over, because then she'll have to figure out what comes next.
I am learning that a life isn't real unless someone else knows its reality. And I want my life to be real.
That's what it felt like - that if I let a little of the hurt out, it would keep pouring out until I was a deflated balloon of a person, with a big monster of hurt in front of me.
The unwarranted devotion. Putting up with the fear of being with the wrong person because you can't deal with the fear of being alone. The hope tinged with doubt, and the doubt tinged with hope. Every time I see these feelings in someone else's face, it weighs me down.
Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away. I would stop the conversation midsentence. I would leave the bed. Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction. But I always glance back at you.
I am proud that I defy your categories. I am proud that I don't fit easily into any box. I am proud of all the things I am and all the things i can be. Question yourself every time you think you only see one thing in me.
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