George Mikes Quotes - Page 2

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• The poor Americans are so busy defending the rights of Hindus in Pakistan, Moslems in India, Jews in Palestine, Koreans in Japan, Italians in Yugoslavia and Hungarians in Czechoslovakia that they simply cannot give a thought to Negroes in the United States.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Rights

  George Mikes (1959). “How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained”

  11 Copy quote

• The British are proud of their ability to create a muddle and then muddle through all difficulties. I must shake the British pride: muddle is not an exclusively British institution. Read descriptions, for instance, of the over-organized, wonderfully systematic and "thorough" German war machine during the last war.

  George Mikes

  Funny, War, Humorous

  7 Copy quote

• 'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.'

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Israel

  George Mikes (1969). “The Prophet Motive: Israel Today and Tomorrow”

  8 Copy quote

• Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humor, Swimming

  7 Copy quote

• In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Russia

  11 Copy quote

• It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy outside. 'Go and look at a railway station,' I was told, 'and you'll be horrified.' I went and was horrified; horrified by the cleanliness of the place.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Dirty

  George Mikes (1970). “The land of the rising yen: Japan”, Harvard Common Press

  8 Copy quote

• When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England.

  George Mikes

  Mean, People, Kingdoms

  George Mikes (1973). “How to be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils”, p.83, Penguin UK

  9 Copy quote

• Australia objects to the mini-skirt not on moral but on economic grounds. Australians are no prudes and the lovely, healthy, sporty Australian girls have no reason to hide their knees and thighs. However, the mini-skirt is disastrous for the wool-trade.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Girl, Humor

  10 Copy quote

• To be extravagant you need money. True. But you do not need your own money.

  George Mikes

  Money, Needs, Need Money

  George Mikes (1983). “How to be poor”, A. Deutsch and M. Sutkiewicz Pub.

  6 Copy quote

• Japan suffered terribly from the atomic bomb but never adopted a pose of moral superiority, implying: 'We would never have done it!' The Japanese know perfectly well they would have used it had they had it. They accept the idea that war is war; they give no quarter and accept none. Total war, they recognize, knows no Queensberry Rules. If you develop a devastating new weapon during a total war, you use it; you do not put it into the War Museum.

  George Mikes

  Funny, War, Museums

  George Mikes (1970). “The land of the rising yen: Japan”, Harvard Common Press

  5 Copy quote

• The Art of Conversation could not die in Australia; it never lived. Television did not kill it; there was nothing there to kill.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Art, Humor

  8 Copy quote

• There are many non-intellectual countries; Australia is one of the few anti-intellectual ones.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Country, Humor

  11 Copy quote

• In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly, "I don't object, you know." If he is quite mad with passion, he may add: "I rather fancy you, in fact.

  George Mikes

  Passion, Boys, Mad

  6 Copy quote

• If somebody tells you an obviously untrue story, on the Continent you would remark, "You are a liar, Sir, and a rather dirty one at that." In England you just say "Oh, is that so?" Or "That's rather an unusual story, isn't it?

  George Mikes

  Liars, Dirty, Stories

  11 Copy quote

• Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die in Jerusalem. It is the finest place to die in - it has always been acknowledged. It has a joie de mourir quite its own.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Religious, Humorous

  George Mikes (1969). “The Prophet Motive: Israel Today and Tomorrow”

  9 Copy quote

• To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet.

  George Mikes

  Achievement, Stupidity, Goes On

  4 Copy quote

• The English are always ready to admire anything so long as they can queue up.

  George Mikes

  Long, Queues, Admire

  17 Copy quote

• The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Soul

  George Mikes (1973). “How to be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils”, Penguin UK

  4 Copy quote

• When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of without much ceremony; but when the same happened in England, the monarch declared : "We are not amused".

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Cutting

  George Mikes (1986). “How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide”, p.46, Penguin UK

  7 Copy quote

• I asked many friends if Australian anti-intellectualism was still a living force and they all told me it was. If you are above average intelligence, hide this embarrassing fact.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humor, Average

  18 Copy quote

• American radio is the reverse of the Shakespearean stage. In Shakespeare's time the world's greatest dramas were acted with the most primitive technical arrangements; on the American air the world's most primitive writing is performed under perfect technical conditions.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Drama, Humorous

  4 Copy quote

• In the field of snobbery, Australia is an underdeveloped country; even a few British ex-colonies, regarded as under developed in all other respects, could export a great deal of snobbery to Australia and still have enough to spare for their own, internal needs.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Country, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• Foreigners have souls; the English haven't.

  George Mikes

  Soul, Foreigners, Havens

  4 Copy quote

• If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Gay

  7 Copy quote

• It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who make a wonderful living out of it but also for the deceased who suddenly becomes the centre of attention and fuss.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, America

  George Mikes (1959). “How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained”

  4 Copy quote

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