Wilson Mizner Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.

  Wilson Mizner

  Want, Ministers, Priests

  Evanell K. Powell Brant, Addison Mizner, Wilson Mizner (1979*). “Debauched Proverbs and Other Miznerisms of Addison Mizner and Wilson Mizner”

  6 Copy quote

• The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.

  Wilson Mizner

  Success, Wake Up, Gents

  56 Copy quote

• You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

  Wilson Mizner

  Sarcastic, Rats, Study

  Quoted in Alva Johnston, The Legendary Mizners (1953)

  11 Copy quote

• What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.

  Wilson Mizner

  Children, Nice, Parenting

  14 Copy quote

• A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

  Wilson Mizner

  Drama, Criticism, Theatre

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  66 Copy quote

• I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

  Wilson Mizner

  Hate, Believe, Effort

  16 Copy quote

• There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

  Wilson Mizner

  Skeletons, Restless, Closets

  13 Copy quote

• He's a trellis for varicose veins.

  Wilson Mizner

  Sarcastic, Veins

  8 Copy quote

• Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

  Wilson Mizner

  Hollywood, Ritz, Sewers

  Evanell K. Powell Brant, Addison Mizner, Wilson Mizner (1979*). “Debauched Proverbs and Other Miznerisms of Addison Mizner and Wilson Mizner”

  23 Copy quote

• Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you

  Wilson Mizner

  Substance, World, Citizens

  10 Copy quote

• It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.

  Wilson Mizner

  People, Dinner

  "Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags". Book by Stuart B. McIver, 1994.

  8 Copy quote

• To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

  Wilson Mizner

  Bed, Embarrassment, Born

  Evanell K. Powell Brant, Addison Mizner, Wilson Mizner (1979*). “Debauched Proverbs and Other Miznerisms of Addison Mizner and Wilson Mizner”

  11 Copy quote

• I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'

  Wilson Mizner

  Lying, Sentences, Knows

  12 Copy quote

• I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

  Wilson Mizner

  Squares, Guy, Miles

  7 Copy quote

• I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

  Wilson Mizner

  Movie, Hero, Thinking

  14 Copy quote

• Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.

  Wilson Mizner

  Love, Actors, Affair

  Evanell K. Powell Brant, Addison Mizner, Wilson Mizner (1979*). “Debauched Proverbs and Other Miznerisms of Addison Mizner and Wilson Mizner”

  4 Copy quote

• The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.

  Wilson Mizner

  Wisdom, Differences, Bars

  Evanell K. Powell Brant, Addison Mizner, Wilson Mizner (1979*). “Debauched Proverbs and Other Miznerisms of Addison Mizner and Wilson Mizner”

  11 Copy quote

• Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

  Wilson Mizner

  Life, Death, Atheism

  7 Copy quote

• The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.

  Wilson Mizner

  Sex, Book, Introduction

  10 Copy quote

• The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

  Wilson Mizner

  Marriage, Husband, Sleep

  18 Copy quote

• The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.

  Wilson Mizner

  Heart, Greed, Humans

  10 Copy quote

• I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.

  Wilson Mizner

  Mind, Trying, Modern Life

  10 Copy quote

• The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.

  Wilson Mizner

  Real, Giving, Bird

  20 Copy quote

• There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.

  Wilson Mizner

  Wealth, Danger, Bigs

  4 Copy quote

• Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.

  Wilson Mizner

  Gambling, Way

  5 Copy quote

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