Mark Twain said (particularly about Pink Marsh): "I have been reading him again, and my admiration overflows all limits. ... How effortless the limning! It is as if the work did itself, without help of the master's hand."
A good musical comedy consists largely of disorderly conduct occassionally interrupted by talk.
Never try to get into society, so-called. Those who try seldom get in, and if they do edge through the portals they always feel clammy and unworthy when under the scrutiny of the elect. Sit outside and appear indifferent, and after a while they may sent for you. If not, it will be money in your pocket.
If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.
Scatter seeds of kindness.
Those who are entitled to it get it sooner or later.
"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.
Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people.
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like Home when it comes to Wearing what you like.
It isn't how long you stick around but what you put over while you are here.
In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.
I got the breaks. Starting from nowhere in the corn belt, I helped edit a country weekly, then was jack-of-all-departments on an obscure daily, so that when I arrived in a big city everything I tackled in the line of column conducting and syndicate peddling and playwriting had to bring promotion, because I had no social standing which could be endangered, no reputation to toss away and no pride which might suffer a setback. Everything I acquired had to be velvet. You cannot lose your silver spoon if you are brought up on pewter.
Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.
The first sign of extravagance is to buy trousers that one does not need.
A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.
The higher they fly the harder they fall.
Opportunity knocks once at every man's door and then keeps on knocking.
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but would not cost half as much during the winter months.
Moral: It all depends.
One man's Poison Ivy is another Fellow's Spinach.
Even the elders can give a number of helpful hints.
Moral: Don't try to Account for Anything.
A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.
Do not give alms promiscuously. Select the unworthy poor and make them happy. To give to the deserving is a duty, but to help the improvident, drinking class is clear generosity, so that the donor has a right to be warmed by a selfish pride and count on a most flattering obituary.
A bird in the hand may be worth two in the bush, but remember also that a bird in the hand is a positive embarrassment to one not in the poultry business.
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