Karl Pilkington Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Iron, Age

• Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Experts, Avocados

  "The Podfather Trilogy" Podcast ("Christmas", Episode 3), 2008.

• As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Baby, Jesus

• I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Mouths, Stuff

• Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Brain, Doe

  "The Ricky Gervais Show" podcast (Season 2, Episode 6), April 4, 2006.

• I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Mean, Chocolate

• At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Sex, Leafs

• I came up with a good idea... see-through skin.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Ideas, Skins

  Podcast Series 2, Episode 5, March 28, 2006.

• We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Doctors, Apples

• It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Family And Friends, Hassle

  Xfm Show, November 29, 2003.

• Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Teaching, Thinking

• I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Kids, Knows

• With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Littles, Twins

• What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Eye, Ideas

• [Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Ocean, Giving

• The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Men, Hair

• Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Moon, Armstrong

  TV Series "3 Minute Wonder" (Episode 2), (2006– ).

• Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Food, Cat

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