If you want to choose the pleasure of growth, prepare yourself for some pain.
The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.
Life as a therapist is a life of service in which we daily transcend our personal wishes and turn our gaze toward the needs and growth of the other. We take pleasure not only in the growth of our patient but also in the ripple effect—the salutary influence our patients have upon those whom they touch in life.
Every person must choose how much truth he can stand.
Some day soon, perhaps in forty years, there will be no one alive who has ever known me. That's when I will be truly dead - when I exist in no one's memory. I thought a lot about how someone very old is the last living individual to have known some person or cluster of people. When that person dies, the whole cluster dies,too, vanishes from the living memory. I wonder who that person will be for me. Whose death will make me truly dead?
Live your life to the fullest; and then, and only then, die. Don't leave any unlived life behind.
To love means to be actively concerned for the life and the growth of another.
Self-awareness is a supreme gift, a treasure as precious as life. This is what makes us human. But it comes with a costly price: the wound of mortality. Our existence is forever shadowed by the knowledge that we will grow, blossom, and, inevitably, diminish and die.
Only the wounded healer can truly heal. (97)
Love is not just a passion spark between two people; there is infinite difference between falling in love and standing in love. Rather, love is a way of being, a "giving to," not a 'falling for"; a mode of relating at large, not an act limited to a single person.
Living safely is dangerous.
If we climb high enough, we will reach a height from which tragedy ceases to look tragic.
I think we ripple on into others, just like a stone puts its ripples into a brook. That, for me, too, is a source of comfort. It kind of, in a sense, negates the sense of total oblivion. Some piece of ourselves, not necessarily our consciousness, but some piece of ourselves gets passed on and on and on.
When people don't have any curiosity about themselves, that is always a bad sign.
... sooner or later she had to give up the hope for a better past.
A sense of life meaning ensues but cannot be deliberately pursued: life meaning is always a derivative phenomenon that materializes when we have transcended ourselves, when we have forgotten ourselves and become absorbed in someone (or something) outside ourselves
The spirit of a man is constructed out of his choices.
Life is a spark between two identical voids, the darkness before birth and the one after death.
If one is to love oneself one must behave in ways that one can admire.
...the more unlived your life, the greater your death anxiety. The more you fail to experience your life fully, the more you will fear death.
Perhaps the single most important therapeutic credo that I have is that the unexamined life is not worth living.
It's not easy to live every moment wholly aware of death. It's like trying to stare the sun in the face: you can stand only so much of it. Because we cannot live frozen in fear, we generate methods to soften death's terror. We project ourselves into the future through our children; we grow rich, famous, ever larger; we develop compulsive protective rituals; or we embrace an impregnable belief in an ultimate rescuer.
Not to take possession of your life plan is to let your existence be an accident.
Psychiatry is a strange field because, unlike any other field of medicine, you never really finish. Your greatest instrument is you, yourself, and the work of self-understanding is endless. I'm still learning.
The death anxiety of many people is fueled ... by disappointment at never having fulfilled their potential. Many people are in despair because their dreams didn't come true, and they despair even more that they did not make them come true. A focus on this deep dissatisfaction is often the starting point in overcoming death anxiety.
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