Jasper Carrott Quotes

• Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

  Jasper Carrott

  Happiness, Laughter, Medicine

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  50 Copy quote

• They put up this bloke's picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'.

  Jasper Carrott

  Men, Phones, Numbers

  10 Copy quote

• I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

  Jasper Carrott

  Music, Media, Radio

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles

  Jasper Carrott

  World, Drummer, Ringo

  12 Copy quote

• I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.

  Jasper Carrott

  Simple, Satisfaction In Life, Feet

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.

  Jasper Carrott

  Running, Mind, Way

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  6 Copy quote

• I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that this only happened to me but I've discovered that many people have the same problem. They have a femme fatale limb.

  Jasper Carrott

  Funny, Dog, Thinking

  7 Copy quote

• Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

  Jasper Carrott

  Unhappy, Being Unhappy

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.

  Jasper Carrott

  People, Wonder, Signing Autographs

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  15 Copy quote

• I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

  Jasper Carrott

  Useless, Cooks

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

  Jasper Carrott

  Eye, Class, Working Class

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

  Jasper Carrott

  Genius, Sensible, I Can

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

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