Sloane Crosley Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• They say it's not the snoring itself but those anxiety-packed moments in between snorts. It's the waiting for the nasal passages of the person lying beside you to strike again. And strike it always does. In the dark, almost against your will, you produce that special glare reserved for people who cannot control their own behaviour.

  Sloane Crosley

  Lying, Dark, People

  21 Copy quote

• As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.

  Sloane Crosley

  Done, Serious, States

  Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.6, Portobello Books

  4 Copy quote

• It's remarkable the logic we'll build around a misapprehension.

  Sloane Crosley

  Logic, Remarkable

  Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.86, Portobello Books

  4 Copy quote

• If I go into a sandwich shop or anywhere that features 'Today's specials' on a chalkboard more than 10 feet away, I have to ask for a printed menu. I smile at people I don't know on the street and ignore those I do. When at home, I often find myself grabbing my 'back-up' glasses to search for the better-loved pair I have left on top of my dresser.

  Sloane Crosley

  Home, Glasses, Feet

  4 Copy quote

• I was the youngest of my entire family so you are tap-dancing to try to get the attention of your older cousins. I really hit my social stride in 6th grade, but before that I was a pretty big dork. You learn how to be amusing and how to work for it.

  Sloane Crosley

  Cousin, Dancing, Trying

  "Book Talk: Sloane Crosley hits brothels, clowns in new essays". Interview with Belinda Goldsmith, uk.reuters.com. June 23, 2010.

  5 Copy quote

• The world I describe is about how people live now. It's not about zany people with unlimited, inexplicable funds in an apartment somewhere.

  Sloane Crosley

  People, World, Inexplicable

  4 Copy quote

• As most doctors will tell you, cleansing is ridiculous. You know what's been around longer than that state-of-the-art juicer? Your kidneys. And your liver. Still, the cleanse has recalibrated my definition of a splurge.

  Sloane Crosley

  Art, Doctors, Definitions

  5 Copy quote

• Out of all artists, authors are the least trained for the spotlight. Wanting attention isn't a requisite part of the package.

  Sloane Crosley

  Artist, Attention, Spotlight

  4 Copy quote

• New Yorkers have a delightfully narcissistic habit of assuming that if they're not conscious of a scene, it doesn't exist.

  Sloane Crosley

  Narcissistic, Assuming, Habit

  4 Copy quote

• I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.

  Sloane Crosley

  Birthday, Summer, Baby

  8 Copy quote

• I do think New York prepares you for the crossection of personalities and realities on display when you leave the country, and I'd live somewhere else if I had a reason or burning-the-the-point-of-discomfort desire to do so.

  Sloane Crosley

  Country, New York, Reality

  4 Copy quote

• I think it's hard to have a full-time job and write fiction, but for essays, you need to be in the world.

  Sloane Crosley

  Jobs, Writing, Thinking

  4 Copy quote

• Sometimes in New York, you're walking down the street and you realize there's a girl walking in front of you whose thighs you could hit a golf ball through, and maybe that makes you depressed.

  Sloane Crosley

  Girl, New York, Golf

  4 Copy quote

• But now my problems had been set loose. They could be anywhere at any time and I was just like everyone else I knew: almost positive that there was something profoundly and undiagnosably wrong with me.

  Sloane Crosley

  Problem

  Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.188, Portobello Books

  4 Copy quote

• We are only as good as our most extreme experiences

  Sloane Crosley

  Extremes

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.56, Penguin

  4 Copy quote

• I thought we had reached an understanding, the institution of marriage and I. Weddings are like the triathalon of female friendship: the Shower, the Bachelorette Party, and the Main Event. It's the Iron Woman and most people never make it through. They fall of their bikes and choke on ocean water.

  Sloane Crosley

  Fall, Party, Ocean

  FaceBook post by Sloane Crosley from Jun 28, 2010

  4 Copy quote

• The children were overwhelmingly morbid. Not a single adult asked me where butterflies go when they die, but this question was more popular than pixie sticks with the under-four-foot set. I cursed parents for not preparing their children. When I was five, my mother and sister sat me up on the kitchen counter and explained the facts of life: the Easter Bunny didn't exist, Elijah was God's invisible friend, with any luck Nana would die soon, and if I ever saw a unicorn, I should kill it or catch it for cash. I turned out okay.

  Sloane Crosley

  Mother, Easter, Children

  Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.106, Portobello Books

  4 Copy quote

• Not all shabby is chic, just like not every porn actor is a star.

  Sloane Crosley

  Stars, Actors, Chic

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.34, Penguin

  4 Copy quote

• I was taught that candles are like house cats - domesticated versions of something wild and dangerous. There's no way to know how much of that killer instinct lurks in the darkness. I used to think the house-burning paranoia was the result of some upper-middle-class fear regarding the potential destruction of a half-million-dollar Westchester house the size of a matchbox. But then I realized the fear stemmed from something far less complex: we're not used to fire. Candles are a staple of the Judaic existence and, like many suburban residents before us, we're pretty bad Jews.

  Sloane Crosley

  Cat, Thinking, Fire

  Sloane Crosley (2008). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.15, Penguin

  4 Copy quote

• I called my mother immediately to inform her that she was a bad parent. "I can't believe you let us watch this. We ate dinner in front of this." "Everyone watched Twin Peaks," was her response. "So, if everyone jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it, too?" "Don't be silly," she laughed, "of course I would, honey. There'd be no one left on the planet. It would be a very lonely place.

  Sloane Crosley

  Mother, Lonely, Believe

  Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.90, Portobello Books

  4 Copy quote

• The nursery rhyme ends when a spider comes along and frightens Miss Muffet straight off her tuffet. I have wondered about what kind of lesson this is for a young girl. If you're eating your curds and whey and a spider comes along, I don't think there's anything wrong with picking up a newspaper, smashing it, and going back to your breakfast.

  Sloane Crosley

  Girl, Thinking, Nurse

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.153, Granta Books

  4 Copy quote

• It's never good to fall in love with someone whom you'd have to stab in the eyeballs to elicit a response.

  Sloane Crosley

  Falling In Love, Fall, Eyeballs

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.41, Granta Books

  7 Copy quote

• Time grabs you by the scruff of your neck and drags you forward. You get over it, of course. Everyone was right about that. One mathematically insignificant day, you stop hoping for happiness and become actually happy.

  Sloane Crosley

  Necks, Drag, Over It

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.141, Penguin

  4 Copy quote

• What annoyed me was that I so often attempted to weasel out of things on purpose, it killed me to do it by accident. It seemed like a waste of whatever detailed lie I was going to have to come up with.

  Sloane Crosley

  Lying, Annoyed, Purpose

  Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.112, Portobello Books

  4 Copy quote

• Insomniacs tend to fall into two general categories - those who give up and those who don't. I don't. I refuse to admit defeat by turning on the light. I will not try to read or watch a movie, thank you. Productivity is a crutch of the weak.

  Sloane Crosley

  Thank You, Giving Up, Fall

  10 Copy quote

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