Bruce Lansky Quotes

• We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Suffering, Instance

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.14, Simon and Schuster

  46 Copy quote

• On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.

  Bruce Lansky

  Cheating, Golf, Lied

  36 Copy quote

• I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

  Bruce Lansky

  Beer, Golf, Play

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.20, Simon and Schuster

  21 Copy quote

• Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Thinking, Wife

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.106, Simon and Schuster

  15 Copy quote

• What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Water, Balls

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.64, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Talking, Balls

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.81, Simon and Schuster

  12 Copy quote

• Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Play, Rays

  53 Copy quote

• You always nag the one you love

  Bruce Lansky

  One You Love

  Bruce Lansky (1995). “For Better and for Worse: The Best Quotes about Marriage”

  6 Copy quote

• I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Practice, Driving

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.32, Simon and Schuster

  14 Copy quote

• My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Games, Feelings

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.14, Simon and Schuster

  9 Copy quote

• When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'

  Bruce Lansky

  Baby, Dog, Fetch

  7 Copy quote

• I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Thinking, Long

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.46, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.

  Bruce Lansky

  Night, Two, Minnesota

  14 Copy quote

• The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Bags, Bugs

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.21, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Play, People

  4 Copy quote

• The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.

  Bruce Lansky

  Mother, Love Is, Finding Love

  4 Copy quote

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