In Stage I, divorces were not allowed, so men's [sexual] affairs did not put women's economic security in jeopardy; in Stage II, affairs could lead to divorce, so men's affairs did place women's economic security in jeopardy. We did not want political leaders who would be role models for behavior that would put women's economic security in jeopardy.
Our love for children is so immediate in part because we feel their powerlessness immediately; conversely, part of the way we deny our love for men is by denying men's powerlessness. Too often we have confused love for men with respect for them, especially for their power to take care of us - which is really just love for ourselves.
If we hold the married man accountable for finances gone legally awry, then the married woman should be held accountable for children who go awry.
If a female employee is offended, a boss would like her to tell him, not sue him.
When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security for a lifetime, women adjusted by focusing on careers as empowerment. But when the sacrifice of a career met the sacrifices in a career, the fantasy of a career became the reality of trade-offs. Women developed career ambivalence.
In brief, when a man fails as a wallet, we put him in prison; when a woman fails as a mother, we offer her social services. We're taking a criminal approach to men, a social services approach to women.
So we've moved from an era when women's biology was women's destiny to today, which is an era in which men's biology is men's destiny.
My wife's income allowed me to do what I really loved. I realized that women's liberation is men's liberation, too.
Women's greater social desirability and beauty power afford opportunities for creating both measurable and invisible income. While the opportunities are available to almost all women and some men, they are available in abundance to the genetic celebrity ... a woman so beautiful that men do more than look and talk--they follow her.
It is important for a father who feels pushed away [by the mom] to say, in effect, When you do that, I feel unwanted as a father, or I feel my rough-housing is not bad parenting; it's my contribution to helping our child take risks. Women cannot hear what men do not say.
One danger of a man succeeding is that it teaches his wife and daughter not to worry about success.
All societies that have survived based on their ability to prepare their sons to be disposable, in war and at work - and therefore as dads.
Both parents' rights must be in balance so children can grow up with a balance between both parents.
Women's scars and rituals involved beauty (piercing ears and noses, binding feet, and wearing corsets); men's involved protecting women. In cultures in which physical strength is still the best way to protect women, as among the Dodos in Uganda, each time a man kills a man, he is awarded a ritual scar; the more scars, the more he is considered eligible.
Nobody really believes in equality anyway.
It evolved from my experience in the fifties, growing up during the McCarthy era, and hearing a lot of assumptions that America was wonderful and Communism was terrible.
So while in men's magazines success is a power tool to get sex and love, and therefore the look of success is crucial, in women's magazines love and sex are power tools to get success and therefore both the look of love and the sexual tease/promise are crucial.
The rules of sexism do not free men from the terror of violence; they only keep men from complaining about it.
Women's liberation and the male midlife crisis were the same search--for personal fulfillment, common values, mutual respect, love. But while women's liberation was thought of as promoting identity, the male midlife crisis was thought of as an identity crisis.
During the years I was on the board of directors of the National Organization for Women in New York City, the most resistant audiences I ever faced in the process of doing corporate workshops on equality in the workplace were not male executives - they were the wives of male executives. As long as her income came from her husband, she was not feeling generous when affirmative action let another woman have a head start vying for her husband's (her) income.
The teenage female has less demand to perform and more resources to attract love. Her body and mind are more genetic gifts.
In brief, we do more research on men in prison, men in the military, and men in general than we do on women for the same reason we do more research on rats than we do on humans.
Although a government study found that men's health was much worse than women's health or the health of any minority group, headlines around the country read: 'Minorities Face Large Health Care Gap.' They did not say: 'Men Face Large Health Care Gap.' Why? Because we associate the sacrifice of men's lives with the saving of the rest of us, and this association leads us to carry in our unconscious an incentive not to care about men living longer.
When men give lines, women learn to not trust men. When women wear makeup, men learn to not trust women. Male lines and female makeup are divorce training.
Men are likely to be quite generous, especially financially.
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