Craig Benzine Quotes

• During a heat wave every dude stinks.

  Craig Benzine

  Heat, Wave, Stink

  47 Copy quote

• It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

  Craig Benzine

  Player, Self, Cds

  16 Copy quote

• Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

  Craig Benzine

  Perfect, Weight, Way

  13 Copy quote

• The only good excuse for not succeeding is DEATH! Unless you're trying to be a ghost. Then it's LIFE!

  Craig Benzine

  Trying, Succeed, Ghost

  7 Copy quote

• Don’t put clothes on food. It’s supposed to be naked.

  Craig Benzine

  Clothes, Naked, Supposed To Be

  9 Copy quote

• Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

  Craig Benzine

  Failure Is Not An Option, Happens

  8 Copy quote

• Be cautious of bears at all times, even when being mauled by a tiger.

  Craig Benzine

  Bears, All Time, Cautious

  8 Copy quote

• The grass is always greener when it's covered in money.

  Craig Benzine

  Grass, Grass Is Always Greener, Greener

  5 Copy quote

• Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

  Craig Benzine

  Fun, Sound, Saturn

  30 Copy quote

• Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.

  Craig Benzine

  Sleep, Two, Car

  14 Copy quote

• Always go to the bathroom before you ‘go’ to the bathroom.

  Craig Benzine

  Bathroom

  6 Copy quote

• Everything is optional.
  Somethings are illegal.
  And some things are really gross.

  Craig Benzine

  Illegal, Gross, Optional

  5 Copy quote

• It's better to have won & lost than to have won, stopped trying, & descended into alcoholism.

  Craig Benzine

  Trying, Lost, Alcoholism

  5 Copy quote

• Dont get scared of death. Get rich! Then die.

  Craig Benzine

  Scared, Rich, Dies

  4 Copy quote

• I would hate to be a bee. Be surrounded by bees all the time.

  Craig Benzine

  Hate, Bees

  4 Copy quote

• Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!

  Craig Benzine

  Stupid, Blanket, Exception

  52 Copy quote

• People alive are better than people not alive.

  Craig Benzine

  People, Alive

  4 Copy quote

• Are imperfections is which make we grate.

  Craig Benzine

  Imperfection, Grate

  4 Copy quote

• If you're gonna lob something, lob love.

  Craig Benzine

  Ifs

  5 Copy quote

• Options are good. Keeps people choosing.

  Craig Benzine

  People

  5 Copy quote

• I love it when the coffee's done!

  Craig Benzine

  Coffee, Done

  5 Copy quote

• Theres nothing to fear but
  fears themselves, such as monsters,
  rejection, food poisoning, redundancy,
  monsters, and oxford commas.

  Craig Benzine

  Oxford, Rejection, Monsters

  7 Copy quote

• Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

  Craig Benzine

  Bird, Poop, Mouths

  21 Copy quote

• The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.

  Craig Benzine

  Steps, Good Things, Step Up

  11 Copy quote

• Things that don't exist do exist. They're just really fast.

  Craig Benzine

  6 Copy quote

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