Lewis Grizzard Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Waiting, Hamburgers, Lines

  Lewis Grizzard (1995). “Life Is Like a Dogsled Team . . . If You're Not the Lead Dog, the Scenery Never Changes: The Wit and Wisdom of Lewis Grizzard”, Longstreet Press

  155 Copy quote

• Spring time is the land awakening.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Spring, Land, Awakening

  Lewis Grizzard (1990). “Gettin' it on: a down-home treasury”, BBS Publishing Corporation

  101 Copy quote

• Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Funny, Humor, Perspective

  127 Copy quote

• If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About a Quart Low.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Love, Oil, Lows

  Lewis Grizzard (2014). “Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night”, p.2, NewSouth Books

  123 Copy quote

• Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life's work.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Appreciation, Passion, Creative

  Lewis Grizzard (1991). “Don't Forget to Call Your Mama--: I Wish I Could Call Mine”

  144 Copy quote

• When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?

  Lewis Grizzard

  Valentines Day, Valentine, Care

  "They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat".

  169 Copy quote

• Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good for myself.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Feel Good, Feels

  140 Copy quote

• On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Travel, New York, Fun

  127 Copy quote

• They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Heart, Sadness, Flats

  Lewis Grizzard (2014). “Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night”, p.12, NewSouth Books

  115 Copy quote

• If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Dog, Never Change, Scenery

  100 Copy quote

• I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Funny, Relationship, Marriage

  103 Copy quote

• Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Love, Life, Sex

  Lewis Grizzard (1995). “Life Is Like a Dogsled Team . . . If You're Not the Lead Dog, the Scenery Never Changes: The Wit and Wisdom of Lewis Grizzard”, Longstreet Press

  118 Copy quote

• Let's all start walking more and driving less.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Driving, Walking

  Lewis Grizzard (1994). “The Last Bus to Albuquerque: A Commemorative Edition Celebrating Lewis Grizzard”, Longstreet Press

  72 Copy quote

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