I think there are people living in Walmart dressed up as employees.
Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do!
Want to shut a racist white guy's mouth. Put him around Super human athletic black dudes.
I went to University of Illinois. Big school. 35,000 students. 800 black... I was the only black in every class. Hard to be absent.
But some people want attention so bad they want you to see them angry at you.
Immigrants have been coming here for a long time. The Americans that are afraid of others coming were immigrants once themselves, so they have a lot of nerve. We have a lot of nerve as a country. The only people that should have xenophobia are Native Americans. Everyone else should shut up.
The one thing you don't want to be is a sucky clean comic. I hate sucky clean comics! It's like Christian rock, bro. I'd rather listen to gospel and Christian rock. That's cheating!
I wish people would understand that comedy is an art form, and that the same thing that makes a Picasso painting is the same thing that gives Bill Cosby the ability to do an hour of comedy on his kids.
I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.
When my woman kisses me I start dancing like James Brown. Ow! I Feel Good!
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