Customs is punishment for those who travel. This will teach you for traveling to our country!
I used to think it was corny to be in love but actually it's corny to lose an awesome woman! Real talk.
I am not a model the camera just went off by itself
You know, the energy I think I was just born with. I think I was just always like that as I kid; I was always real energetic.
My black friends in America don't believe me. I said, 'Dude, I'm Nigerian American.' 'Word? We thought you were, like, regular black.' What the hell is 'regular black'? Crayola coming out with colors I don't know about?
I think that sometimes I've been a little too nice. I think you have to have a balance. When you're too nice people take you for granted, they take you for a fool I think.
The one thing you don't want to be is a sucky clean comic. I hate sucky clean comics! It's like Christian rock, bro. I'd rather listen to gospel and Christian rock. That's cheating!
I wish people would understand that comedy is an art form, and that the same thing that makes a Picasso painting is the same thing that gives Bill Cosby the ability to do an hour of comedy on his kids.
I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.
I can always create new material. That's something I can control.
I got into trouble a lot in school. They say you're a disturbance in class. You're a distraction, they're moving you around. You never really get rewarded in class for being funny. You're a disturbance. But the funny kid is often witty and clever and quick... they finally get a chance to express themselves when they get out of school.
That's what I take pride in in my stand-up, is changing things up. Being special.
But there's times when I like to find the strange angles to something. People go, 'I heard a lot of jokes like that, but that's one of the most interesting takes I heard.' That's what I try to do.
I'm forever a part of pop culture.
I want to be able to go into a room of aliens and be funny. I don't care who it is. I don't ever want to limit myself to a type of comedy because I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to make anybody laugh and that's the key for me.
Hey man! I'm a comedian but I'm not a clown.
I would say, as far as heckling, there's benign and there's malignant; like tumors man. Sometimes you get really nice hecklers. I'd say percentage-wise it's only about 10 to 20 percent the whole year.
Immigrants have been coming here for a long time. The Americans that are afraid of others coming were immigrants once themselves, so they have a lot of nerve. We have a lot of nerve as a country. The only people that should have xenophobia are Native Americans. Everyone else should shut up.
When my woman kisses me I start dancing like James Brown. Ow! I Feel Good!
But some people want attention so bad they want you to see them angry at you.
I went to University of Illinois. Big school. 35,000 students. 800 black... I was the only black in every class. Hard to be absent.
Want to shut a racist white guy's mouth. Put him around Super human athletic black dudes.
Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do!
I think there are people living in Walmart dressed up as employees.
I think the audience should take away that it's okay to be smart, it's okay to be funny and well-learned. You can be from academia and be funny; you don't have to be an idiot.
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