Mallory Ortberg Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• You can't prevent a possible future closeness between your upcoming child and one or more of their grandparents.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Children, Grandparent, Closeness

  "Permission Slip". Live Chat, www.slate.com. January 4, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!

  Mallory Ortberg

  Return, Rudeness, Tempting

  "Do It for the Kids". Live chat, www.slate.com. December 21, 2015.

  19 Copy quote

• If someone you know is diagnosed with cancer, give them a call or send them a letter to tell them how sorry you are and to let them know how much you care.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Sorry, Cancer, Giving

  "Do It for the Kids". Live chat, www.slate.com. December 21, 2015.

  4 Copy quote

• There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Firsts, Facts, Realizing

  "For Name's Sake" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. January 20, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• Anyone who thinks it’s funny to name their network "Tom’sHugeEtc" is going to think it’s funny that one of his neighbors is also named Tom and is embarrassed by it.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Thinking, Names, Neighbor

  "I Think She's in Love" by Daniel Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. February 2, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• Don't let a friend make you feel publicly uncomfortable indefinitely just because they're probably a lesbian.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Uncomfortable, Feels

  "I Think She's in Love" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. February 2, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Recovery, Addiction, Needs

  "Telltale Hurt" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. February 1, 2016.

  5 Copy quote

• The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Ideas, Asking, Bonus

  "Telltale Hurt" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. February 1, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• If and when you do decide to share your experience with your husband, it should be because you feel ready to do so, not for any other reason.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Husband, Ifs And, Reason

  "Telltale Hurt". Live Chat, www.slate.com. February 1, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, "Please don't touch me" should get them to stop.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Permission, Should, Stepping Back

  "Die, Bundle of Twigs!". Live chat, www.slate.com. January 5, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, "Hey, I had a nice time, but I don't think things are going to work out between us." Only you can help fight ghosting.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Nice, Fighting, Thinking

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Sometimes, Middle, Lease

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• Most of us, however committed we are to our ideals, will find ourselves every now and again reading an attention-grabbing headline from the Daily Mail or some other lowest-common denominator. That's not the same thing as frequenting a site like the white supremacist Stormfront.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Reading, White, Attention

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• It should go without saying that you are not doing anything wrong by having sex in your own home, and based on the care you've taken to keep things relatively quiet it's unlikely that you're violating any city noise ordinances.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Sex, Taken, Home

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Worry, Creepy, Trying

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• In no state in America is it legal for a landlord to demand their tenants lead a "healthy lifestyle" in order to rent property.

  Mallory Ortberg

  America, Order, Healthy

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Wish, Causes, Someday

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.

  Mallory Ortberg

  People, Who We Are, Celibacy

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Worry, Parent, Want

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• Letting events end is not rude. Everything ends.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Rude, Events, Ends

  "Do It for the Kids" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. December 21, 2015.

  4 Copy quote

• Knowledge of death is the beginning of wisdom.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• It's so difficult to figure out how to offer support and also be honest with someone you love who's in a damaging relationship without making them feel defensive and retreating even further into isolation.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Support, Honest, Isolation

  "Fostering a Future". "Dear Prudence", slate.com. January 8, 2018.

  4 Copy quote

• You may not be able to convince everyone around you that you're doing the right thing, but you don't have to subject yourself to endless second-guessing from others, either.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Guessing, May, Able

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• I'm of the belief that dating "potential" is almost always an exercise in frustration.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Exercise, Frustration, Dating

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• You are allowed to draw lines even if your feelings are irrational. Part of the marvelous business of being an adult human is that you get to set your own boundaries for whatever reasons you like, without appending a sensible rationale to them.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Feelings, Adults, Lines

  "Backup Mommy". Live chat, www.slate.com. March 8, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

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