Mallory Ortberg Quotes - Page 4

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• o one is right when it comes to destination weddings. It’s a big ask, requesting people take time off work and fly off to take a cruise just to see you get married, and they’re perfectly justified in saying no if they don’t have the time, the money, or simply the inclination.

  Mallory Ortberg

  People, Married, Cruise

  "Zero". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 15, 2016.

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• The hardest part about being ghosted is the fact that you can't deal with the ghoster directly. You just never hear from them again, and everything feels odd and incomplete.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Facts, Odd, Hardest

  "For Name's Sake" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. January 20, 2016.

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• There are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Children, Pregnancy, Alternatives

  "Zero". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 15, 2016.

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• You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Jobs, Supervisors, Duty

  "Even if It Kills Me". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 16, 2016.

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• I don't know of any way to control the subject of one's dreams although I'm fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Dream, Way, Topics

  "Even if It Kills Me". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 16, 2016.

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• I don't think unfriending your old crush on Facebook will do much other than remove him from your Facebook feed. Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about; there are a lot worse things that could slip across the transom of your unconscious mind than an old high school crush who was always nice to you.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Crush, Dream, Nice

  "Even if It Kills Me". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 16l 2016.

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• Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over; let them go.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Dream, People, Worry

  "Even if It Kills Me". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 16, 2016.

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• Acting politely in front of someone black and/or gay and then making horrible claims about their intelligence or worth as human beings after they leave the room is not kindness - it's hypocrisy.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Kindness, Gay, Hypocrisy

  "Even if It Kills Me". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 16, 2016.

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• I'm of the opinion that it is always a kind and appropriate decision to get in touch with someone who's lost a loved one to remind them that you're thinking of them and have fond memories of the deceased.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Memories, Thinking, Decision

  "Gone From the Chapel". Live chat, www.slate.com. March 22, 2016.

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• I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and men in general - may not be interested in men sexually.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Sex, Husband, Real

  "I Think She's in Love". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. February 2, 2016.

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• I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Hate, Men, Thinking

  "Gone From the Chapel". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 22, 2016.

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• Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Giving, Kidneys, Dies

  "Even if It Kills Me". Live chat, www.slate.com. March 16, 2016.

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• A child is not a bargaining chip or a learning tool. Your focus, if you adopt a child of a different race, should be on nurturing and protecting your child from bigotry, not deploying him or her as an anti-racist Mr. Fix-It.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Children, Race, Focus

  Source: www.slate.com

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• Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Sexy, Girlfriend, Father

  "Backup Mommy". Live chat, www.slate.com. March 8, 2016.

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