Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.
No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.
...she opened the door very slowly and carefully, half hiding behind it, as if badly frightened of what might be waiting for her on the other side. And considering that it was me waiting, this showed rare common sense.
Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.
It was such an unexpected and genuine smile that if I only had a soul I'm sure I would have felt quite guilty.
I don't do my job to catch the bad guys. Why would I want to do that? No, I do my job to make order out of chaos.
I thought about the nice clothes that I always wore. Well of course I did. I took pride in being the best dressed monster in Dade County.
I did not like this feeling of having feelings.
I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.
That's why I liked him, I think. Another guy pretending to be human, just like me.
And so as much as I can, I care about her, dear Deborah. It's probably not love, but I would rather she were happy.
Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.
It’s like, everything really is two ways, the way we all pretend it is and the way it really is
It was almost enough to make me feel emotion.
Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbor's children?
Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?
But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.
Money to me had always been merely something the sheep used to show each other how wonderful they were.
The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me.
And once again I found myself wondering, as I drifted off to stunned and unbelieving sleep:How do these terrible things always happen to me?
She really did like me, the idiot.
Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot.
Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation.
We can't always do what we think we have to do. So when there's nothing else you can do, you wait... No matter what... pressure... you might feel.
...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain.
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