• Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

    Mark Twain (1995). “The Bible According to Mark Twain: Writings on Heaven, Eden, and the Flood”, p.256, University of Georgia Press