Protestants Quotes

• America is a hurricane, and the only people who do not hear the sound are those fortunate if incredibly stupid and smug White Protestants who live in the center, in the serene eye of the big wind.

  Norman Mailer

  Stupid, Eye, White

  1959 Advertisements for Myself,'Advertisement for "Games and Ends"'.

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• When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'

  Quentin Crisp

  Peace, Atheist, Believe

  "The Wit and Wisdom of Quentin Crisp". Book by Quentin Crisp, 1984.

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• Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Funny, Sports

  Dave Barry (1985). “Dave Barry's Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead”, p.32, Rodale

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• I went off to college, a good, middle-class, very proper college, a Brethren institution, where two years of Bible study are required for graduation. It was a good, sound, thorough, but completely biased evaluation of the Bible, and I was delighted with it, because it helped to document my doubts; it gave me a framework within which I could be critical.My independent study continued for 20 years after this. So I do know the Bible very well from a Protestant point of view.

  Madalyn Murray O'Hair

  Independent, College, Years

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• The only really respectable Protestants are the fundamentalists. Unfortunately, they are also palpable idiots.

  H. L. Mencken

  Superstitions, Belief, Idiot

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.121, Knopf

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• As a Protestant minister's son I am partial to apocalypses.

  Matt Ruff

  Son, Apocalypse, Ministers

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• As long as leadership from above was not lacking, the people fulfilled their duty and obligation overwhelmingly. Whether Protestant pastor or Catholic priest, both together and particularly at the first flare, there really existed in both camps but a single holy German Reich, for whose existence and future each man turned to his own heaven.

  Adolf Hitler

  Religious, Men, Long

  Adolf Hitler (1971). “Mein Kampf”, Mariner Books

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• Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

  Mark Twain

  Bible, Girl, Children

  Mark Twain (1995). “The Bible According to Mark Twain: Writings on Heaven, Eden, and the Flood”, p.256, University of Georgia Press

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• When the epistemologists' concept of consciousness first became popular, it seems to have been in part a transformed application of the Protestant notion of conscience."Consciousness" was imported to play in the mental world the role played by light in the mechanical world.

  Gilbert Ryle

  Play, Light, Firsts

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• Jews wait for the Lord, Protestants sing hymns to him, Catholics say mass and eat him.

  Walker Percy

  Hymns, Waiting, Catholic

  Walker Percy (2011). “Love in the Ruins: The Adventures of a Bad Catholic at a Time Near the End of the World”, p.206, Open Road Media

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• A Protestant, if he wants aid or advice on any matter, can only go to his solicitor.

  Benjamin Disraeli

  Advice, Matter, Want

  'Lothair' (1870) ch. 27

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• We have deluded ourselves into believing the myth that capitalism grew and prospered out of the Protestant ethic of hard work and sacrifices. Capitalism was built on the exploitation of black slaves and continues to thrive on the exploitation of the poor, both black and white, both here and abroad.

  Martin Luther King, Jr.

  Believe, Hard Work, Black And White

  "Secretary Zinke, we can't afford to ignore diversity" by Andre Perry, www.cnn.com. March 27, 2018.

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• I'm eradicating the word Protestant even out of my vocabulary. .. I'm protesting anything. .. it's time for Catholics and non-Catholics to come together as one in the Spirit and one in the Lord.

  Paul Crouch

  Vocabulary, Catholic, Together

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• I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby... because he's Jewish and I'm Protestant and the baby's father is Catholic.

  Bonnie McFarlane

  Baby, Husband, Father

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• Perhaps I had better inform my Protestant readers that the famous Dogma of Papal Infallibility is by far the most modest pretension of the kind in existence. Compared with our infallible democracies, our infallible medical councils, our infallible astronomers, our infallible judges, and our infallible parliaments, the Pope is on his knees in the dust confessing his ignorance before the throne of God, asking only that as to certain historical matters on which he has clearly more sources of information open to him than anyone else his decision shall be taken as final.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Taken, Ignorance, Dust

  George Bernard Shaw (2015). “The Collected Works of George Bernard Shaw: Plays, Novels, Articles, Lectures, Letters and Essays: Pygmalion, Mrs. Warren’s Profession, Candida, Arms and The Man, Man and Superman, Caesar and Cleopatra, Androcles And The Lion, The New York Times Articles on War, Memories of Oscar Wilde and more”, p.4082, e-artnow

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• Thanksgiving is a holiday that brought together two different cultures. The pilgrims came here with the best intentions. They decided to flee an oppressive people and move to a new land. Where they thrived. And became an oppressive people. You get certain people on the same continent, there's going to be a problem. Pilgrims and Indians. Protestants, Catholics. My family, anybody else's family.

  Christopher Titus

  Moving, Holiday, Land

  "Titus / The Perfect Thanksgiving". www.imdb.com. 2000.

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• I grew up in a fundamentalist protestant family that stressed that we were a select people and so we were to avoid contact with others who did not share our faith.

  Garrison Keillor

  People, Stressed, Share

  "Humor has to surprise us, otherwise it isn't funny". Interview with George Plimpton, blankonblank.org.

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• I do know the Bible very well from a Protestant point of view - which is what, along with my reason, entitles me to refute it. You can't rationally reject something until you know all about it.

  Madalyn Murray O'Hair

  Views, Reason, Point Of View

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• I would say that Catholics came in and competed with the Protestant work ethic. That is one thing. And they did assimilate into the broader society and a lot of them, especially Irish Catholic did their best to sound like they were English rather than Irish by dropping and the O and the apostrophe.

  Steve King

  Work Ethic, Catholic, Sound

  "All In with Chris Hayes", www.msnbc.com. December 9, 2015.

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• After a few days in hospital, I was thinking, Oh, gee - I raised in a church, Protestant upbringing which I'd rejected as an adult - I'm lying in bed thinking, Hmmm, maybe I ought to pray. They always say there are no atheists in a foxhole... and I thought, Here I am in a pretty good-sized foxhole... and I thought Naahhh. I wouldn't respect any God who would listen to me after I'd rejected him so vociferously.

  Chuck Close

  Atheist, Lying, Thinking

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• I've got a lot of back-up because my father was a Catholic, my mother was a Protestant, I was educated by Jews and I'm married to a Muslim. So I won't lose out on a technicality.

  Michael Caine

  Mother, Father, Catholic

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• Broadly speaking, Protestants like to be good and have invented theology in order to keep themselves so, whereas Catholics like to be bad and have invented theology in order to keep their neighbors good. Hence, the social character of Catholicism and the individual character of Protestantism.

  Bertrand Russell

  Character, Order, Catholic

  Bertrand Russell (1957). “Why I Am Not a Christian: And Other Essays on Religion and Related Subjects”, p.123, Simon and Schuster

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• At age 11, I went to a Jewish school. I speak Yiddish. I'm Church of England Protestant. My father was Catholic, and my mother was Protestant. My wife is a Muslim.

  Michael Caine

  Mother, Father, School

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• I didn't have a clue. I grew up Protestant in Connecticut at the Saugatuck Congregational Church. We didn't talk about the devil. That's Catholicism. And so, that was my safety net. And I always say, it's probably a good thing they didn't hire a Catholic child, who may have heard about the devil, the things that were in the closet. And no one wanted to discuss them.

  Linda Blair

  Children, Safety, Catholic

  "Interview with The Exorcist Linda Blair". Interview with Steve Head, www.ign.com. September 17, 2000.

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• I'm neither Catholic not Protestant. Protestant sounds good but I don't think I am.

  Joseph Brodsky

  Thinking, Catholic, Sound

  "Joseph Brodsky's Art of Darkness". www.washingtonpost.com. October 23, 1987.

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