Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world. It's unreliable levers that are the problem.
I imagine that fish have no word for water.
The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking.
The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned by no later than the date shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality.
People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.
I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.
I commend my soul to any god that can find it.
He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.
"There's a door," he whispered. "Where does it go?" "It stays where it is, I think," said Rincewind.
Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.
The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap and much more difficult to find.
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.
And then you bit onto them, and learned once again that Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler could find a use for bits of an animal that the animal didn't know it had got. Dibbler had worked out that with enough fried onions and mustard people would eat anything.
God does not play dice [with the universe]. [Ger., Gott wurfelt nicht.]
Your True Nature Is Love. There's Nothing You Can Do About It.
If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story.
And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.
The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.
Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned.
What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.
Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]
Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.
It was Carrot who'd suggested to the Patrician that hardened criminals should be given the chance to 'serve the community' by redecorating the homes of the elderly, lending a new terror to old age and, given Ankh-Morpork's crime rate, leading to at least one old lady having her front room wallpapered so many times in six months that now she could only get in sideways.
Nature abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and the chuck keys for electric drills.
Asking someone to repeat a phrase you'd not only heard very clearly but were also exceedingly angry about was around Defcon II in the lexicon of squabble.
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