The things Nas' Illmatic was saying were sometimes hard realities but it was done on such a high level, I felt I could point to him as a representative. Someone who put my struggle and my worldview into poetry.
My path to poetry was slow and meandering. When I eventually found my way to graduate school at 29, making a life as a poet seemed like a bohemian fantasy. But maybe my zigzagging trajectory is just an excuse for tardiness, when fear is really the root of any reason I might give. My perfectionism and pace are certainly driven by fear that a poem is imperfect or incomplete. More significantly, my struggle to fully dedicate myself to poetry was a fear of failure.
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