Top Gear Quotes

• This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Fun, Air, Car

  26 Copy quote
• 

  Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Love, Motor Racing, Car

  93 Copy quote

• A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Faster, Cool Cars, Witchcraft

  40 Copy quote

• Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Clouds, Understanding, Taste

  6 Copy quote

• Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Cool Cars, Comfortable

  "Top Gear: Series 8". TV Series, May 7, 2006.

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure. They are designed to melt ice caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands and turn the entire third world into a huge uninhabitable desert, all that before they nicked all the oil in the world.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Running, Oil, Islands

  "Top Gear", October 31, 2004.

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.”

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Sexually Transmitted Diseases, People, Syphilis

  "Top Gear: Series 8". TV Series, May 7, 2006.

  54 Copy quote

  Show source

• Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Syphilis, Cool Cars

  8 Copy quote

• That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Orange, Lions, Ridiculous

  5 Copy quote

• Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t
  you?

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Thinking, Mad, Heard

  6 Copy quote

• If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Bmw, House, Leaving

  11 Copy quote

• Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Mean, Past, Bears

  5 Copy quote

• God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  World, May, Six

  6 Copy quote

• I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Ferrari, Versions

  5 Copy quote

• Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  President, Tonight, Way

  5 Copy quote

• I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Believe, Animal, Plates

  13 Copy quote

• Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Light, Would Be, Range

  5 Copy quote

• Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Night, Woods, Stig

  "Top Gear", May 22, 2005.

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Car, Ferrari, Tonight

  15 Copy quote

• The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Boys, Blue, Black

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• Some say he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called ‘Steve’. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  Richard Hammond

  Machines, Plant, Stig

  "Top Gear" with Richard Hammond, March 04, 2007.

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Democracy, World, Lectures

  "Top Gear: Series 5". TV Series, October 24, 2004.

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Air, Dashboards, Sitting

  8 Copy quote

• Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Trying, Honey, Cows

  7 Copy quote

• I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Sorry, Sleep, Bed

  Jeremy Clarkson (2009). “Driven to Distraction”, p.102, Penguin UK

  52 Copy quote

  Show source