Things with my dad were pretty good until I won an Academy Award. He was really loving to me until I got more attention than he did. Then he hated me.
I've purged myself of bitterness and anger and remained open to love.
Ryan finally came to my rescue. He'd thought working together in Paper Moon would help us bond.
I remained Ryan's companion on the Hollywood party circuit, growing inured to sex and drugs before I was in my teens.
Griffin, my brother, 11 months younger, was sometimes the victim of my father's fury - once Ryan famously knocked out his teeth.
As Peter Bogdanovich would say of Paper Moon: Ryan's wonderful in it, and he sat there and watched the kid steal the picture.
Paper Moon didn't bring me love.
Things get so sloppy when you're under the influence.
My children forgave me at a time when I could barely forgive myself.
I've stood my ground in life, alone, even against overwhelming forces with the might and money to crush me.
I've overcome physical and mental brutality - and fought back.
The more love I craved, the more distant and abusive he grew. The role I longed to play was never written into Ryan's script: daughter.
I've triumphed over addiction.
I was punished for blowing the whistle on my father's lifestyle.
I've overcome neglect and deprivation, abandonment and abuse.
When someone was hitting me, or like sexually molesting me, it just seemed normal to continue to do that to myself.
I have a temper, but I wouldn't call me abusive.
I never dreamed that shooting a film would be so hard. There was less regulation then of child actors' hours. Even the concept of acting confused me.
I think all of us feel like we're a bit on show, all the time.
Certain struggles never end.
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