Walter Matthau Quotes

• My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

  Walter Matthau

  Funny, Life, Hilarious

  281 Copy quote

• I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

  Walter Matthau

  Funny Relationship, Wife, Mind

  36 Copy quote

• There's no such thing as 'too late!' That's why they invented death!

  Walter Matthau

  Too Late, Late

  "Fictional character: Charlie". "Out to Sea", www.imdb.com. 1997.

  33 Copy quote

• Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

  Walter Matthau

  Over You, World, Lips

  24 Copy quote

• I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

  Walter Matthau

  Body, Talent, Fart

  24 Copy quote

• I could play a cop, I could play a crook, I could play a lawyer, I could play a dentist, I could play an art critic-I could play the guy next door. I am the guy next door. I could play Catholic, Jewish, Protestant. As a matter of fact, when I did The Odd Couple, I would do it a different way each night. On Monday I'd be Jewish, Tuesday Italian, Wednesday Irish-German-and I would mix them up. I did that to amuse myself, and it always worked.

  Walter Matthau

  Monday, Art, Couple

  28 Copy quote

• To be successful in show business, all you need are 50 good breaks.

  Walter Matthau

  Successful, Needs, Break

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

• Get out of show business. Its the best advice I ever got, because Im so stubborn that if someone would tell me that, I would stay in it to the bitter end.

  Walter Matthau

  Advice, Stubborn, Bitter

  11 Copy quote

• I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie.

  Walter Matthau

  Listening, Ears

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  21 Copy quote

• Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I needed. It all started happening after that.

  Walter Matthau

  Couple, Personality, Plutonium

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  52 Copy quote

• My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.

  Walter Matthau

  Mother, Eight, Dollars

  18 Copy quote

• I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.

  Walter Matthau

  Thinking, President, United States

  12 Copy quote

• I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked the way our local pharmacist was always dressed in a nice white coat; he looked very calm, you'd give him money, and he'd give you something that you wanted to buy.

  Walter Matthau

  Nice, White, Giving

  91 Copy quote

• It's very easy to live here. You're anonymous here. Nobody knows who you are.

  Walter Matthau

  Easy, Nobody Knows, Knows

  10 Copy quote

• You see, my father was a Catholic priest, Greek Orthodox, but I think he started out as a Jew, then he became a Catholic priest.

  Walter Matthau

  Father, Thinking, Catholic

  9 Copy quote

• We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?

  Walter Matthau

  Book, Writing, Together

  18 Copy quote

• The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.

  Walter Matthau

  Girl, Bed, Firsts

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

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