Gwyneth Paltrow Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• We've got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden - a luxury, I know, but it's one of the best investments I've ever made.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Garden, Luxury

• One cold wintry day in London, I was dreaming about salad nicoise—one of my favorites.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Dream, Dumb

• I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Kids, Epic

  "10 Epic Quotes From Gwyneth Paltrow" by Michael Rothman, abcnews.go.com. March 26, 2014.

• It's so much easier to sit home and not exercise and criticize other people. What I love is inspiring people. People come up to me and say, 'I want to have two kids and wear a bathing suit and not feel terrible about myself. I see how hard you work and it makes me feel like I can do that too.'

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Home, Kids

  "The Spellbinder: Gwyneth Paltrow" by Mickey Rapkin, www.elle.com. August 3, 2011.

• I really don't like drunk women; I think it is such a bad look. I think it's very inappropriate and I don't like it. I don't really have drunk friends.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Epic, Thinking

  "Where the heart is" by Emma Brockes, www.theguardian.com. January 26, 2006.

• I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I'm 50. I'll try anything. Except I won't do Botox again, because I looked crazy. I looked like Joan Rivers!

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Crazy, Epic

  "Gwyneth Paltrow: Botox Made Me Look ‘Crazy’ Like Joan Rivers" by Ellie Krupnick, www.huffingtonpost.com. April 11, 2013.

• Every time I have a bikini wax, Cameron Diaz holds me down.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Epic, Dumb

  "10 Epic Quotes From Gwyneth Paltrow" by Michael Rothman, abcnews.go.com. March 26, 2014.

• I'm just a normal mother with the same struggles as any other mother who's trying to do everything at once and trying to be a wife and maintain a relationship. There's absolutely nothing perfect about my life, but I just try hard.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Mother, Struggle

  "Gwyneth Paltrow cooks up book, record deals" by Arienne Thompson, usatoday30.usatoday.com. April 13, 2011.

• There's a portion of the movie where something bad happens to me, and I lose my clothes along the way, so essentially I'm wearing a bra and trousers. There are certain requirements, but luckily I have a good base because I work out often.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Clothes, Work Out

• Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys. I'm so tired.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Tired, Dumb

  "Gwyneth Paltrow: Myth vs. Reality" by Anamaria Wilson, www.harpersbazaar.com. April 9, 2010.

• I think that women, especially women in my job, come to me because they know I'm very loving and nonjudgmental and I'm not competitive, and I've been through a lot.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Jobs, Thinking

  "Gwyneth Unveiled" by Sarah Bailey, www.harpersbazaar.com. April 11, 2013.

• One year I was given a birthday present I'll never forget - a cooking lesson from Jamie Oliver.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Years, Dumb

  Gwyneth Paltrow (2011). “Notes from my Kitchen Table: Enhanced Ebook Edition”, p.226, Pan Macmillan

• I first had a version of this at a Japanese monastery during a silent retreat-don't ask, it's a long story.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Long, Dumb

• [Moses] is obsessed with hip-hop and wanted a gold chain like his uncle Jay-Z.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Uncles, Hip Hop

• I had my first bowl of gazpacho when I was fifteen in Spain, and the impression it made was a lasting one.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Dumb, Spain

  Gwyneth Paltrow (2011). “My Father's Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness”, p.102, Hachette UK

• My one light American Spirit that I smoke once a week, on Saturday night.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Night, Light

  "Gwyneth Unveiled" by Sarah Bailey, www.harpersbazaar.com. April 11, 2013.

• He [Chris Martin] can't have background music on. It has to be 100 percent of his attention. But if he isn't at home, I turn on the hip-hop. I'm like a bad mutha rapping along to every word as I cook.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Rap, Home

• I don't want to be rich and I don't want to be famous.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Dumb, Want

• When I was twenty-one, a friend gave me a book called Diet for a New America by John Robbins, which exposed the brutal practices of American factory farms. That, coupled with a lecture from Leonardo DiCaprio (when he was nineteen and I was twenty-one) about how such animals are kept and processed, made me lose my desire for factory farm pork and beef right there.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Book, Animal

  Gwyneth Paltrow (2011). “My Father's Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness”, p.22, Hachette UK

• I don't hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I've learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It's very liberating. It's very empowering, and I've learned a lot of that from Jay-Shawn Carter-Z, because his approach to life is very internal. It's a very good lesson to learn.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Caring, Thinking

  "Gwyneth Paltrow On Jay-Z:‘I’ve Learned A Lot’ From The Rapper" by Erin Clements, www.huffingtonpost.com. April 11, 2013.

• You know, I use organic products, but I get [laser treatments]. It's what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Interesting, Balance

• I am who I am. I can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Epic, Who I Am

• I'm not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it's incredibly delicious.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Dumb, Healthy

• Beauty fades! I just turned 29, so I probably don't have that many good years left in me.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Beauty, Years

• During the strict macrobiotic chapter of my life, I ate miso soup every day for breakfast and sometimes with dinner as well.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Dumb, Breakfast

  Gwyneth Paltrow (2011). “My Father's Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness”, p.80, Hachette UK

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