When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.
Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival. We're in for a major disaster if it isn't curbed...We have no option. If it isn't controlled voluntarily, it will be controlled involuntarily by an increase in disease, starvation and war.
The bastards murdered half my family
Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.
You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.
If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.
I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.
I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.
So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.
Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years.
A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.
It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on.
Change does not change tradition, it strengthens it. Change is a challenge and anopportunity, not a threat.
I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.
Wildlife of the world is disappearing, not because of a malicious and deliberate policy of slaughter and extermination, but simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect.
If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.
But we are not going to be able to survive on this limited planet if the population keeps on growing: there isn't going to be anything left.
A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.
How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?
I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!
Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.
So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs.
A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.
You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.
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