During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
The bastards murdered half my family
You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.
I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.
If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.
A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.
Wildlife of the world is disappearing... simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect
Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.
So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.
You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.
Do you work in a strip club?
A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.
I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.
Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf.
So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs.
If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.
A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.
We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!
It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on.
You ARE a woman, aren't you?
You could do with losing a little bit of weight.
I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!
What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.
Why don't you go and live in a hostel to save cash?
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