During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.
I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.
The bastards murdered half my family
If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.
A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.
Wildlife of the world is disappearing... simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect
So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.
A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.
You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.
Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.
Do you work in a strip club?
If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.
It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on.
A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.
I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.
We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!
You ARE a woman, aren't you?
I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!
You could do with losing a little bit of weight.
So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs.
What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.
British women can't cook.
It's difficult to see how it's possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs.
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