During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.
The bastards murdered half my family
I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.
A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.
Wildlife of the world is disappearing... simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect
So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.
You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.
I therefore suggested that WWF should invite leaders from the major religions to meet together to discuss what - if any - responsibility they felt they had for the natural environment as a "sacred" entity.
If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.
A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.
A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.
Do you work in a strip club?
It's a vast waste of space.
You could do with losing a little bit of weight.
What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.
So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs.
You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.
I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!
We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!
You ARE a woman, aren't you?
British women can't cook.
Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.
For conservation to be successful it is necessary to take into consideration that it is a characteristic of man that he can only be relied upon to do anything consistently which is in his own interest.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends