Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
He that drinks fast, pays slow.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
Good people drink good beer.
Fermentation equals civilization.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.
When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
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