Redneck law: Must have a gun. Must shoot it regularly.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.
You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.
You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
The grand irony, however, is that Southern segregation was not brought to an end, nor redneck violence dramatically reduced, by violence.
People look at you, and they've got just the perfect little box for you, the perfect category. Call you a redneck. Call you a hillbilly. Like those were insults.
To me, redneck is a sense of self and a way of life.
'Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions.
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends