Redneck law: Must have a gun. Must shoot it regularly.
You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
What this world needs is a few more Rednecks
Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions.
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up.
The grand irony, however, is that Southern segregation was not brought to an end, nor redneck violence dramatically reduced, by violence.
My daughter is a redneck woman, she's a redneck girl.
I'm from West Virginia. If you didn't know what was happening in NASCAR, you were on the outside. NASCAR is a big league sport, but it's still also country and redneck.
There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars."
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.
I think I may have created a monster with my - I won't say act - but with my redneck pose.
Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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