You would not believe how much time people waste in a day. And how little time they put into things they genuinely love.
If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie.
Sometimes I play guitar like a frustrated drummer.
The pop musicians often leave meaning in the dust and substitute it for cartoons. The deeper artists - the grunge artists in the world and the emoticon people - tend to leave all of the happiness out of life like it just doesn't exist.
People think that the arts are optional and they aren't. They teach a level of emotional depth that's equally important to mathematic skill. You can replace some math skills with a calculator if you know how to operate the thing, but there's no calculator for human interaction.
I'm named after a computer and grew up really interested in them.
It's better to waste money than time. You can always get more money.
Mainly, when I go see a show, unfortunately it's more industrial espionage than it is going to actually enjoy a show.
Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams.
There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing.
Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions.
If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.
The Bush administration made us nostalgic for ... well, any other time in history.
Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine.
Ive been doing stand-up since I was 15 years old.
If I have anything, it's tenacity.
I try to be as ignorant about things as I can.
I admire Laura Bush because she's the only librarian who would marry an illiterate.
Political and social change is always a stagger-step process. One step forward, two steps back. They want you to give up.
If you are for freedom and equal rights, which we hear a lot of talk about these days, then you have to include the LGBTQ community in that. And if you're not willing to put your time where your mouth is, then I don't know quite what you mean by commitment in your life.
Growing up in Kentucky, I used to hang out with four running buddies as a kid - 6, 10, and 11 years old. Two of them would later come out, and so 50 percent of my friends as a kid were gay.
I've always said that I benefit, as an actor, from not having the illusion of security.
Boredom is your mind and body's way of telling you you're not living up to your potential.
I'm a writer, so I like dissecting things.
I noticed a lot of guitar players neglected the rhythm part of rhythm guitar and decided I would try to focus in that.
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