Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
Government 'help' to business is just as disastrous as government persecution... the only way a government can be of service to national prosperity is by keeping its hands off.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
In Korean, my lyrics are witty and have twists. But translated into English, it doesn't come over. I've tried writing in English, just for me, but it doesn't work. I've got to know everything about a culture, and I don't.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
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