Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Vote early and vote often.
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Government 'help' to business is just as disastrous as government persecution... the only way a government can be of service to national prosperity is by keeping its hands off.
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
Laughter not only makes the journey endurable and even enjoyable, it also helps keep us healthy.... Be like a child: learn to laugh more!
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness.
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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