The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I went to school, majored in theatre, and said 'Mom, I have to choose my own destiny. I want to be an actor.' A couple of weeks after I graduated college I called my mother up and said 'Can I borrow $200?' and she said 'Why don't you act like you've got $200.'
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Don't find fault, find a remedy.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
... all my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.
And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
When your back is against the wall, there is only one thing to do, and that is turn around and fight.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Never mistake motion for action.
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends