Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Fancy Restaurant: one that serves cold soup on purpose.
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.
Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
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