Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.
Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.
Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.
Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
The trouble with the last snowfall of the season is that you can't be sure.
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.
Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
They should have picked a different city to name after a man who reputedly never told a lie.
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
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