I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty.
Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.
True friends stab you in the front.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
The night has a thousand eyes, And the day but one; Yet the light of the bright world dies, With the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, And the heart but one; Yet the light of a whole life dies, When love is done.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Real love is a pilgrimage. It happens when there is no strategy, but it is very rare because most people are strategists.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.
Love is being stupid together.
The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
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