Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
I don't drink, and I don't smoke. It's a personal preference. My mom has never drunk or smoked. I look up to my mom.
When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Write drunk; edit sober.
Sometimes when you're drunk you can see better.
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.
It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
As the witnessing deepens, you start becoming drunk with the divine. This is what is called ecstasy.
The man who gets drunk in peacetime is a coward. The man who gets drunk in wartime goes on being a coward.
I loved Jack Ford. I got him in his later days, and he was a total tyrant and a total autocrat and an Irish drunk. But I had a great time.
It's not a crime to get drunk.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.
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