Ray Romano Quotes About Children

Quotes about: Children

• Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Fathers Day, Children

• Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Children, Sleep

  Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

• When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again." Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Baby, Sex

  Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

• Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”, Bantam

• I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

• Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”, Bantam

• Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with you. Every three months. We don't plan it that way. That's just how it works out. It's the weirdest thing. You know what I do? Every time I have sex, the next day I pay my estimated tax. My quarterlies are due. If it's oral sex, I renew my driver's license.

  Ray Romano

  Sex, Children, Next Day

• My theory has always been that everyone in show business is there because they were deprived of some attention as a child.

  Ray Romano

  Children, Attention, Theory

  Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

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