I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.
Hollywood has unfortunately become a memory. It's nothing but a sign on the side of a hill.
You always pass failure on the way to success.
Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
Dont retire - inspire...Theres a lot to be done
And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.
Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after.
Look, I come from vaudeville, I come from burlesque, I come from heartaches, I come from sadness, I come from gladness, I come from work and sweat and respect for the craft.
I hear Jerry Falwell every Sunday here talking about the devil and Hollywood. . . . I'm gonna write him a letter. Hollywood wasn't built on filth and dirt - it was built on talent.
I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more.
Hey kids! Let's put on a show!
Someone once asked me what I want on my epitaph when I pass away. Just the words 'I tried.' That's what this game of life is all about. Trying. There's the tryers, the criers, and the liars.
To those seniors, and especially elderly veterans like myself, I want to tell you this: You are not alone, and you having nothing to be ashamed of. If elder abuse happened to me, it can happen to anyone. I want you to know that you deserve better.
A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.
Life is an infiltration course. We all try and get through it. We all try and get through it unscathed - maybe not hurt, not bruised. No bones broken, maybe a few hearts here and there.
I don't pick the roles. Your agent gets a call for you and you go and they all get together, everybody has fun at the reading, and they say, "There's chemistry here." So that's how it happens.
Now. Now is the most important time of all of your young lives. And what does now stand for - N-O-W? No Other Way. That's the only time - NOW!
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
When I was 19 years old, I was the number one star of the world for two years; when I was 40, nobody wanted me; I couldn't get a job.
God bless the universe, God bless Japanese, Chinese, Indians, all of them and let's have peace.
On Hollywood turning its back on him: I wasn't in the club. You see, I'm not going to be a stroker. I never have been all my life.
Clark Gable once said to me, "'Acting school?' [If you go,] I'll kill ya!"
The audience and I are friends. They allowed me to grow up with them. I've let them down several times. They've let me down several times. But we're all family.
I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me.
Nowadays, it is fashionable for agents to be out. When you call them, they're always "out." It's in, you see, to be out. If they're in, they're out. So, they're always out. That way, they'll be in.
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