This is the band Radical Posture, and my name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five-Year Plan Sputnik Pravda Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean?
If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains'; they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.'
Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
I've been going to Granada for many years and 12 years ago bought a house a few miles outside the city.
Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.
Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip.
There's a part of me that still hates everything, and my natural view default setting is still very cynical and dark
If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't.
A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags.
Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states,
Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often.
I feel sorry for many politicians we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.
If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.
I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.
I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes.
I wanted to write about how people's beliefs shift.
But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.
First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.
I liked 35 and in both my novels that is the age of the lead characters. I tried making them my age but they just seemed to keep moaning about stuff.
I don't think I'd ever get thin, but I don't see why I should necessarily think that I couldn't You can't live your life for your routines.
I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time, but people who meet me are soon disabused of that notion.
I like the south of Spain, notably for the Moorish influence and the weather.
You can't do comedy with a beard.
I'm sure a psychologist would see something highly significant in how absent-minded I am. I mean I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my neck by muscles, ligaments and my esophagus.
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