Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
This is the band Radical Posture, and my name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five-Year Plan Sputnik Pravda Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean?
Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states,
There's a part of me that still hates everything, and my natural view default setting is still very cynical and dark
Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip.
If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't.
Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.
A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags.
If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains'; they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.'
I did six series for the BBC and that was enough. I've been writing for ten years, which is more challenging artistically.
Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often.
I like the south of Spain, notably for the Moorish influence and the weather.
I'm sure a psychologist would see something highly significant in how absent-minded I am. I mean I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my neck by muscles, ligaments and my esophagus.
I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time, but people who meet me are soon disabused of that notion.
I don't think I'd ever get thin, but I don't see why I should necessarily think that I couldn't You can't live your life for your routines.
I don't think people were that interested in what I was doing for the most of the 1990s.
I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.
People used to think I was just a shouty comic but I was doing stuff about Sartre.
People aren't universally heroic.
If someone starts agreeing with me, I don't like it. Out of pique, I become something else.
It seems easier to make a career out of comedy now than it was in the 1980s.
Most of my friends are women - I quite fancied being a woman in a way.
Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like ""Brothers in Arms"" and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.
But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.
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