Mark Steel Quotes

• The annoying thing about being an atheist is that you'll never have the satifaction of saying to believers, 'I told you so.'

  Mark Steel

  Death, Atheist, Annoying

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• As you get to thirty, the main thing is to not be sensible.

  Mark Steel

  Thirty, Sensible

  Mark Steel (2001). “Reasons to be Cheerful: From Punk to New Labour Through the Eyes of a Dedicated Troublemaker”

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• We really want to thank everyone for their kindness and generosity, even those who aren't helping us directly.

  Mark Steel

  Kindness, Generosity, Want

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• Banks aren't neutral observers, they're ... the people who caused the mess. It's like someone who's wet themselves in a public building insisting they choose which mop the librarian fetches to clear up the puddle.

  Mark Steel

  People, Puddles, Fetch

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• An army of experts assured us on a daily basis that this boom couldn't possibly crash like previous booms because this boom was still going on whereas all previous booms had ended.

  Mark Steel

  Army, Experts, Crash

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• Faith-healing is peculiar enough at the best of times, but applying it to football merits a special league of barking. Why would God bother to perform a miracle that enabled Sol Campbell to yell Oh holy Jesus, now I can win the ball in the air. It's been five years since I could defend from corners, brothers and sisters, it's a miracle.

  Mark Steel

  Soccer, Football, Jesus

  “Spot the balls” by Mark Steel, www.theguardian.com. February 3, 1999.

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• Aristotle compiled the first known comprehensive list of all winners of the Olympic Games. Which means that quite probably he was sat in a bar with Plato, muttering 'Go on then, give me any year you like and I'll tell you who won the four-man bobsleigh.'

  Mark Steel

  Plato, Mean, Men

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