My ceiling's broken, my car's got a puncture and we've just lost two matches. But I've got my health and I'll ask the big man upstairs why he didn't give us a point.
There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.
I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.
The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we've got to get a dietician.
I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.
Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.
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