Peter Cook Quotes

• I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly

  Peter Cook

  Funny, Mistake, Life Lesson

  126 Copy quote

• As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

  Peter Cook

  Stars, Night, Sky

  79 Copy quote

• Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very deeply about them.

  Peter Cook

  Happiness, Thinking, Things In Life

  55 Copy quote

• All in all I'd rather have been a judge than a miner. And what's more, being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go. Well, the very opposite applies with judges. *

  Peter Cook

  Jobs, Stupid, Tired

  Peter Cook, William Cook (2013). “Tragically I Was an Only Twin: The Comedy of Peter Cook”, p.46, Random House

  62 Copy quote

• One of the ways to avoid being beaten by the system is to laugh at it.

  Peter Cook

  Laughing, Way, Beaten

  42 Copy quote

• I've had some wonderful ideas for getting the dominating going. I've got some extremely subtle advertising slogans that should get the public behind us. Things like "Vote for EL Wisty and lovely nude ladies will come and dance with you." It's a complete lie, of course, but you can't afford to be too scrupulous if you're going to dominate the world.

  Peter Cook

  Lying, Ideas, Lovely

  "Fictional character: E. L. Wisty". TV Series "On the Braden Beat" ("The World Domination League", 1964), 1962-1967.

  51 Copy quote

• I am blind -- but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'broil' . . . I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again.

  Peter Cook

  Sorry, Able, Thanks

  Peter Cook, William Cook (2013). “Tragically I Was an Only Twin: The Comedy of Peter Cook”, p.215, Random House

  43 Copy quote

• I went to the University of Life and was chucked out.

  Peter Cook

  University

  28 Copy quote

• I saw an advertisement the other day for the secret of life. It said "The secret of life can be yours for twenty-five shillings. Sent to Secret of Life Institute, Willesden." So I wrote away, seemed a good bargain, secret of life, twenty-five shillings. And I got a letter back saying, "If you think you can get the secret of life for twenty-five shillings, you don't deserve to have it. Send fifty shillings for the secret of life."

  Peter Cook

  Thinking, Secret, Twenties

  "Fictional character: E. L. Wisty". TV Series "On the Braden Beat" ("Are You Spotty?", 1964), 1962-1967.

  32 Copy quote

• You realize that suicide's a criminal offense. In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it.

  Peter Cook

  Suicide, Criminals, Realizing

  "Fictional character: George Spiggott". "Bedazzled", www.imdb.com. December 10, 1967.

  35 Copy quote

• Everything I've ever told you, including this, is a lie.

  Peter Cook

  Lying, Including

  30 Copy quote

• I've always been after the trappings of great luxury. But all I've got hold of are the trappings of great poverty. I've got hold of the wrong load of trappings, and a rotten load they are too, ones I could have very well done without.

  Peter Cook

  Luxury, Done, Rotten

  Peter Cook, William Cook (2013). “Tragically I Was an Only Twin: The Comedy of Peter Cook”, p.46, Random House

  35 Copy quote

• If there's one thing I can't bear, it's when hundreds of old men come creeping in through the window in the middle of the night and throw all manner of garbage over me. I can't bear that.

  Peter Cook

  Night, Men, Garbage

  Peter Cook, William Cook (2013). “Tragically I Was an Only Twin: The Comedy of Peter Cook”, p.61, Random House

  33 Copy quote

• I am very interested in the Universe - I am specialising in the Universe and all that surrounds it.

  Peter Cook

  Surround, Universe

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  24 Copy quote

• Playing rugby at school I once fell on a loose ball and, through ignorance and fear, held on despite a fierce pummelling. After that it took me months to convince my team-mates I was a coward.

  Peter Cook

  Team, School, Ignorance

  23 Copy quote

• Now I tell you the downside of this is you feel awful, but the upside is you feel terrific.

  Peter Cook

  Drug, Awful, Feels

  Peter Cook, William Cook (2013). “Tragically I Was an Only Twin: The Comedy of Peter Cook”, p.365, Random House

  34 Copy quote

• I would like to like to make one thing clear at the very outset and that is, when you speak of a train robbery, this involved no loss of train, merely what I like to call the contents of the train, which were pilfered. We haven't lost a train since 1946, I believe it was - the year of the great snows when we mislaid a small one.

  Peter Cook

  Believe, Loss, Years

  Peter Cook, William Cook (2013). “Tragically I Was an Only Twin: The Comedy of Peter Cook”, p.53, Random House

  32 Copy quote

• All right, you great git, you've asked for it. I'll cover the world in Tastee-Freez and Wimpy Burgers. I'll fill it with concrete runways, motorways, aircraft, television, automobiles, advertising, plastic flowers, frozen food and supersonic bangs. I'll make it so noisy and disgusting that even you'll be ashamed of yourself! No wonder you've so few friends; you're unbelievable!

  Peter Cook

  Flower, Bangs, Burgers

  "Fictional character: George Spiggott". "Bedazzled", www.imdb.com. December 10, 1967.

  29 Copy quote

• The thing that makes you know that Vernon Ward is a good painter is if you look at his ducks, you can see the eyes follow you around the room.

  Peter Cook

  Eye, Ducks, Looks

  BBC British sketch comedy show "Not Only... But Also" ("At The Art Gallery", 1965), 1965-1970.

  26 Copy quote

• We exchanged many frank words in our respective languages.

  Peter Cook

  Statistics, Language, Frank

  1961 Impersonation of Harold Macmillan. Beyond the Fringe.

  28 Copy quote

• I could have been a Judge, but I never had the Latin for the judgin'. I never had it, so I'd had it, as far as being a judge was concerned... I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

  Peter Cook

  Latin, Fall, Coal Miners

  British comedy stage revue "Beyond the Fringe" written and performed by Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Alan Bennett, and Jonathan Miller ("Sitting on the Bench", 1961), 1960-1966.

  14 Copy quote

• The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there.

  Peter Cook

  Garden, Eden, Swamps

  "Fictional character: George Spiggott". "Bedazzled", www.imdb.com. 1967.

  17 Copy quote

• I didn't know dirty words could be done that artfully.

  Peter Cook

  Dirty, Done, Dirty Words

  14 Copy quote

• Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony.

  Peter Cook

  Jobs

  "Fictional character: George Spiggott". "Bedazzled", www.imdb.com. December 10, 1967.

  14 Copy quote

• I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

  Peter Cook

  Fall, Coal Miners, Judging

  British comedy stage revue "Beyond the Fringe" written and performed by Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Alan Bennett, and Jonathan Miller ("Sitting on the Bench", 1961), 1960-1966.

  8 Copy quote

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