Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings
The one thing about Billie is he will snap and rip your head off if you point anything out at all other than how beautiful he is and how nice he looks today.
I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump
Life is like breakfast: you just mix all ingredients 'cause in your stomach it will all come together.
Punk rock has become another viable art form. It always was. But now it's like everyone's doing it.
I'm not exactly sure how many kids I have, but yes, I do miss them officially, for the record. In case any of them are listening, I love you.
I caught on fire twice on the stage, but I was promptly put out. It was just my leg
I've matured, maybe, but not grown up.
Music has never been at a better time then it is right now, we're really lucky to be a part of this wonderful thing called music.
I told my dad 'Yeah, I’m going to be a drummer', and he said 'Well, if you can rub your stomach at the same time as you pat your head at the same time you’re standing on one leg and kicking the other one out in a circle and say the pledge of allegiance'. And I did all that just like bam, you know?
I'm a drummer. I can count to four and repeat.
I didn't have a normal childhood by any means. But it was what it was, and I appreciate what my parents did for me.
I never completed high school and I am very rich and very successful.
I can't stop bleeding and I can't stop having sex with corpses.
I used to drink beer and smoke pot before I played. Now I drink tequila and smoke pot. So it's a little different
I'm like a sack of potatoes, to be abused at will.
I have a homosexual crush on most adolescents.
I've never been beaten up! I'm a black belt in Run-Fu.
It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put that booger that counts.
I'd probably be a burglar, I'd burgle people.
We're Green Day. We can do whatever we want.
I'm the greatest rock and roll drummer on the planet and you suck.
I wanna survive an avalanche. I wanna be one of those people a dog finds buried under a ton of snow, almost dying of starvation.
You just can't pull out the gun and blow the TV away anymore 'cause the baby might be sleeping.
I am no longer married, so ladies... there you go.
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