Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.
When I pass, speak freely of my shortcomings and my flaws. Learn from them, for I'll have no ego to injure.
Good satire goes beyond the specific point it’s trying to make and teaches you how to think critically. Even after your favorite cartoonist retires or [Stephen] Colbert wraps it up, you’re not left believing everything they’re telling you.
I want the news delivered unbiased. I thought that was the whole point with journalism.
But I know that in Toronto and Vancouver there are all the comforts of America, and yet there's a difference in the people, and I had health care.
One, I push my deadlines closer than anybody else, or let's say it this way: I'm really late.
We have to confront the very scary fact that the president is a moron. He's really dumb.
Fluid and energetic and wild very, very smart and very, very funny.
I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are.
And I'm not so in love with making people mad that I want to live my life around it.
You can't accuse the creator of The Boondocks, ... Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil and the government is lying about 9/11.
You know, Democratic and Republican administrations alike have supported individuals and regimes that have slaughtered millions across the globe. And they need to be held accountable for that.
You know, every time a summer movie comes out, people think they're gonna get rich off of the merchandise.
I cannot be made into the commentator for the unspoken black masses.
I don't want the news to be patriotic. I don't want to see flags on the lapels of the anchors. I don't want any of that.
The American people have no control over what the military does. We have no say in American foreign policy.
Anyone with a gun can go out and commit an act of terrorism, even without a political affiliation.
When the news wants to tell you something is important, they put dramatic theme music behind it. They scare you into watching the story.
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